Please help me...boyfriend problems oh PLEASEEE!!

[maynards_razorblade69]

Hello all!

I have been going out with my boyfriend for about a year now and we have had some very happy times together.

About six months ago he cheated on me with my best friend at the time and since then i haven't been able to trust him with any other girls. i dont know whether it would be the same with any other boy but at the moment i am trying to deal with burning, upsetting jealousy. i dont like the person i have become at all. i'd like him to be able to go out with other girls and have fun with whoever he wants but i cant let him do that because i get so jealous.

ok, so i'm not explaining things very well. its just such a long story i guess, so please bear with me and try to understand.

so, yeah, he cheated on me. that hurt me very much and we broke up for a little while, but got back together later. a few weeks after THAT, we broke up for another reason, and i went out with another guy for about 2 weeks before i realised i didnt like this new guy and wanted my old one back. he'd been pleading with me to go back out with him for the 2 weeks we were apart.

so, we got back together, but i couldn't trust him. full stop. anything he did i couldn't trust him. but i didnt realise the extent to which it had gone until a few months ago, when i realised i couldn't even trust him with other boys!!! And believe me, my boyfriend hasn't the slightest gay tendancies!!

so, after months of thinking i had to end it, again and again, i decided to tell him exactly how i felt about everything.

so i sat down and told him everything via the phone. he said he understood, and that i could trust him. i felt better for about 2 weeks, but today he came over and we were talking about his (female) friends.

i asked why he had never invited me to come out with him and his friends. i have met them all once, and liked them, and they apparently liked me. so i thought i would be invited out a little bit more often to have fun. but today when i asked him if i could sometime, he said he'd rather not have me hanging around with him and his mates, and he'd prefer to be without me.

now i invite him everywhere i go. he hardly ever comes, because he has very protective parents, who can't drive him anywhere etc etc, but i do invite him. so i was extremely hurt when he said what he did.

question 1: did i overreact? is it ok for him to just have fun with his friends without me? does he prefer to be with them without me?

 

another thing. we hardly ever get to see each other. today he was supposed to come over at about midday, but he got here at three o'clock. he didnt even seem to care.

we were...hmm...in bed..when i said i wasn't happy with how late he arrived. he didnt say anything but turned away from me, didnt' touch me or talk to me. i curled myself up into a ball because i felt so lonely. then he turned round and cuddled me. i was crying though.

 

so basically, i just wanted your opinions on whether this relationship was worth pursuing? every saturday i get upset because he doesnt arrive until really late, and we only have a few hours together. i'm always feeling jealous, and feeling really rubbish.

i would be so grateful for any replies. a big hug to anyone who does. i'm feeling so jealous of his female friend i kinda wanna kill them.

thanx

byee xx mwah xx

[Shelly333]

Ok, girl. Did you read what you wrote? I don't see how there is even a question about what should be done! I do realize that sometimes a person can get so deep into something that they fail to see the reality of the situation anymore, so they ask for an outside view, which is awesome that you are doing so.

 

I hope you take this to heart: DUMP HIM!!! I'm sorry but if I was dating a guy who didn't want me to hang out with him and his friends, he would be outta there. Yes, it sucks breaking up, yadda yadda yadda. But why waste your time with this guy who basically sees you when it is convenient for him? I mean, he has a whole other life outside of you that he refuses to involve you in. No wonder you have a hard time trusting him. I wouldn't either.

 

The guy cheated on you with your best friend. There is no excuse good enough for that one. Dump him!

 

The relationship is obviously causing you to have very unhealthy thoughts, and you are changing into a person you don't like. Dump him!

 

I don't know if there is a fear of loneliness, or if you feel like you can't get anybody else, but being single is not as bad as what you are doing now, trust me. I think it would be wise to dump him, and cut all contact with him. Get out and meet new people. Stay busy. After a while you will wonder how you ever stayed with him as long as you did. He obviously doesn't respect you much. You deserve respect.

[maynards_razorblade69]

Thank you very much.

I know what i have to do, but i guess i'm just really scared of doing it. all the people i've talked to about this have said to dump him, but its almost like i see a different side of him. whether i'm just deluding myself i dont know, and maybe if i took a step back and looked at this relationship from another persons perspective, things would be different, but i guess i'm just scared of being on my own again, as Shelly333 said.

I'm not the most attractive of people, so i kinda think that he's my last chance of happiness, and no one else is ever gonna fancy me again! even though i've had many boyfriends for my age so far!

Thank you so much for replying. you've made me see a lot of things more clearly!

Thankyouuuu!!!!!!!!

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