Broke up... sort of, what now?

[Finch]

Tonight my girlfriend and I of 6 months decided to call it quits. We've been on the rocks for about 2-3 months now and it was no secret to anybody that things weren't going well. So tonight we talked about things, and surprisingly, the night before prom, we broke up.

 

The break up was mutual. She is totally infatuated with me, and I do love her very much, but we both knew things wouldn't last. She didn't cry at all during the whole talk of breaking up, however, she was obviously sad and depressed.

 

I hugged her closely and told her that it was going to be okay and that I do honestly want to be friends, more than friends I said. I know everyone says "i just want to be friends" and then never do, well I honestly do and I think we will be.

 

We talked about it and she said that her and I will still talk on the phone each night, won't hook up with anybody for a month or two, and probably will still hang out occasionally. Sounds more like a break, but whatever it is is a breath of fresh air.

 

I told that I didn't want to lead her on in any way, and if I was, she needed to tell me and I would back off and give her the space she needs. I also told her that it could be possible that we get back together sometime in the future, however, I told her not to expect getting back together anytime soon.

 

Tomorrow we're still going to prom with each other and we're going to talk more about the break up afterwords. I'm just wondering if we're taking the right steps towards a healthy break up and what I can do to better help her through this time since I've already come to terms with the break up about a month ago.

 

Help!

[Finch]

Hey!

 

Thanks for you reply. I forgot to note, she isn't pregnat. She got her period a few weeks ago.

 

I think you're absolutly right about her thinking that she may be able to change my feelings, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to push her away from me because she'll think that whole "let's be friends speech" was a bunch of bs to get her to feel better and not get mad at me. I honestly do want to be friends with her.

 

What would you recommend? I mean she wants me to call her everynight still, and she called me last night at like 4:50 AM crying, and I got her to stop crying.. so she obviously still wants me to comfort her. She still wants to hang out too. Do I need to tell her that she needs to have some space from me? And if so, how do I do that?

[Finch]

I think I know you're right, I just don't think I can do that all over. I think she'd get the idea that I don't want to talk to her at all, and that I wasn't being serious about being friends if I said that.

 

She also always says I love you before we get off the phone, and I do love her, but I feel compelled to say I love you back and I do for the most part so it doesn't make her feel any worse.

 

I'm guessing I'll have to become a little bit more distant in a week or so, and show her that things indeed are different. I still would like to talk to her on the phone, but I'm guessing that she might take it wrong if I say I don't want to talk every night..

 

I don't know, it's just really confusing!