ANOTHER axiety thread.

[paintedfish]

Recently, I have been having the WORST anxiety I have ever had. It's getting to the point that I can't think, I can barely move, light and sounds are too much, and at one point I even thought my soul was leaving my body. I stayed in bed for 2 days because I feared I couldn't move. My boyfriend was worried, and tried to lighten the mood by tickling me, and it worked, and I was squirming and laughing and then all of the sudden I was in such mental? pain from moving I blacked out, and he said I was screaming and was about to call 911. I feel "weird" all of the time, I sometimes can't respond to what people ask me, I'm a mess! It has never been this intense. I wake up every hour or so when I'm sleeping because my body feels like it's being electrified. My muscles spasm, and I almost feel like I have Tourette's, I get so twitchy. It comes and goes, but I feel the anxiety all of the time, it's just bearable some times.

 

 

Has anyone had it this bad? I was addicted to Xanax for a while, was arrested for it, and if I get any other drugs for anxiety I tend to take 8 or 9 when one will do. I went through 60 Clonazepams in around 4 days. I don't want medication for it. I can't really have medication for it. I would walk around but it works me up into such a frenzy I have to stop where ever I am and stop moving till I feel I can walk back home. I try to read and keep my mind off of it, and that helps a little, but I can't do that 24/7... I'm completely miserable...!

[Mia_of_Doom]

Your best bet would be to talk to a professional. Maybe a counselor or psychologist rather than a psychiatrist since you don't want medication. They will best be able to tell you what to do. However be prepared for them to tell you in some form or another that you'll have to push yourself to mentally and physically fight it and overcome it. That's really the only way if you don't take medication for it.

[paintedfish]

Well, the therapist I saw won't see me unless I'm on medication. I have a feeling the rest will be the same.

[MountainGuy3]

Hey now. Take a breather, and just don't think about all that is going on around you. Try looking in a mirror or at a painting/photo that you like for a few minutes each time you feel anxious - just to give yourself a "moment" of calm. It all adds up, and trust me, you'll get better. I was in a very similar situation last year. Anxiety and worry had me physically ill - I hear you out on this.

 

The change will come, and it will come when you can reflect on the fact that you don't need to react they way you are to stressors. It is ALWAYS possible to be calm, regardless of situation. A wise quote from Marcus Aurelius come to mind:

 

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

 

It just takes practice and reinforcement to train your mind. Remember, the anxiety isn't you - it is the working of your mind. You and your mind are separate entities, and anxiety is more of a manifestation of an overactive mind than anything else. You are always in complete control of your mind and how you react to your environment - remember this It is quite empowering when dealing with anxiety to know that you have the power within you to feel better.

 

Do you ever try to just accept the anxiety? Perhaps, even embrace it? Step back for a moment and try to evaluate your reaction to the thought of anxiety itself. Do you fear the feeling of anxiousness? Why? Does it actually hurt you, or does your worrying about it actually cause it to simply perpetuate itself? Anxiety is normal and human, but our mental reaction to it is the basis of anxiety disorders. Tell yourself this. Acknowledge that you are anxious. Say to yourself: "Yep, I'm anxious right now - so what?"

 

So what? So what... If you're like me, you'll ask yourself this enough times, and finally realize that the anxiety really isn't doing anything harmful to you. It is simply a part of you that you've come to fear and react strongly to. Then you'll have control of it, because you know it doesn't have to cause such dramatic reactions.

 

Any "therapist" who deliberately won't see you is an ass, plain and simple. They should do all they can to acommidate you and your needs. I can't imagine why somebody would turn you down if you choose not to use medications - taking them is a very personal choice, and shouldn't be mandated, but rather overseen/moderated by a therapist in conjunction with a physician.

 

Take care, you will get better! Lots of people struggle with anxiety, but once you figure it out, you'l get through it just like they do!

 

Best wishes

[MountainGuy3]

Oh - and by the way, your profile picture cracked me up. Was that from link removed?

[paintedfish]

Ha, yes. It's from there, I believe. I love it. I thought you meant the picture of me in my profile... I couldn't think of why it was funny! Lol!

 

 

Yeah, it hurt my feelings that she refuses to see me if I tell her I'm not medicated anymore. It's interesting you would say "embrace it." I do fear my anxiety, because it is SO uncomfortable. Like I said, it feels like my soul is detaching. I dont know what causes it. I will definitely try getting power over it... So what if I'm anxious... right?

 

 

Thank you so much.