No one to listen...

[lazydaydream23]

I am feeling entirely frustrated with this whole love thing. I'm a 23 year old woman. I've never been on a date. I've had one boyfriend in my life (last year) but it was a farce that only lasted a month. I find myself with sooo many crushes that never lead anywhere. Take my current situation, for example. I have a huge crush on a guy (guy #1) in one of my classes. He's really cute (!!!) but has a terrible personality (i.e. he know's he's cute, he curses all the time, and seems to be a womanizer). I know this guy is no good for me. He showed a passing interest in me and we have spoken a little, although not lately (whenever I see him a school nowadays I freeze up and only manage to get out "Hi, how are you?") So, maybe the "bad boy" is not for me.

 

There's another guy (guy #2) I like that has a lot going for him. He's attractive, tall, in law school, religious, and appears to be rather intelligent. Of course he's shown no interest in me. I don't even know where to begin with him, since I don't see him on a day-by-day basis. He is actually my brother's childhood friend that I have had a crush on for ages.

 

Honestly, I want a good guy that will treat me right. It's not as if I'm purposely trying to find that bad ones, but that's all I seem to get. I'm really attracted to guy #1 but guy #2 is equally attractive--no, even more attractive because of what he has going for him. I wonder if guy #2 is out of my league. I know I have a lot to offer, but I have this feeling that I wouldn't be what he is looking for.

 

I feel really discouraged. I asked a guy out to lunch in the past but I got one of those "Let me check my schedule and get back to you" answers. After that, I told myself, I give up. No more asking guys out. Why can't they ask me out once in a while?

 

I'll admit that I may not be the most approachable person. I'm kind of shy and reserved. I don't tend to initiate conversations but will talk to anyone that talks to me.

 

Anyway, that's my gripe. Forget "Mr. Right"! I can't even find "Mr. Sort of Right." Heck, even "Mr. Wrong" won't date me!

[twelve]

are you coming accross as desperate?

don't take that wrong i am not sure if you are or not.

 

you sound like an intelligent and interesting person, so i think it is purely your approach that is out.

 

i am a lesbian and guys flock to me, and i am sure a lot of it is because i don't try for anything more than friendship and am cruisy and be msyelf around them.

i suggest you try a similar tactic.

get to know them as mates, even say you have a boyfriend (or are gay so they dont think you are after them.

As a result, they will want to get to know you + find you appealing because of your ease in getting along with them and not expecting anything, no pressure.

 

good luck.

[twelve]

ps : as for that womaniser guy, ditch that one, he would be no good for you, what a loser he sounds like!

[lazydaydream23]

Hmm...I don't think I'm coming accross as desparate--at least not consciously. Perhaps, subconsciously. You're right. I should focus more on becoming friends with them first.

 

I agree that the womanizer guy is a waste of my time. I just can't get over how cute he is!

[Rainy]

Hi,

 

I think that you should try and be yourself, I was shy around guys when i was at school, i am an only child so i didnt have any brothers and my friends didnt have any brothers, so i was never around men's company and when i was i never knew how to act,

 

When my friend got her boyfriend and i was introduced to his friends and hung about with them thats when my confidence grew and i didnt see them as "abnormal people" , I was never interested in my friends boyfriends friends which made it easier to let go off the barriers,

 

What i am trying to say is maybe you need to just look at guys as friends to begin with until you feel comfortable around men and then when you are confident talk to guys that ytou are attracted to but still use the same technique of talking to them as they are just friends and then it will be less scarier,

 

i still sometimes feel anxious around men but i have more confidenece at dont feel as intimidated as i was!

 

good luck

[lonelynshy]

You mentioned guy #2 as being "tall".

Why is that important to you? What is wrong with short guys? Maybe you will find real love from a short guy.

[lazydaydream23]

Yes, I mentioned guy #2 as being "tall". I would prefer a guy that is at least my height. Exceptions can always be made, though, for love.