talking to the ex-girlfriend

[beach_babe]

just a little worried about this and would like some advice!

my fiance and i have been together almost 4 years, and have a generally good relationship. we're both in college so right we have a long-distance relationship, but we get to see each other relatively frequently and, besides the occasional fight, do just fine.

just recently (within the past two weeks), my fiance has exchanged a few emails with a girl who he dated for about two years in high school and who now goes to school accross the country. from what he has told me, their relationship was not so stable: she cheated on him, they'd break up and get back together frequently, and he eventually broke up with her for good because he was tired of her not treating him well. They've kept up a little over the years, and the emails sent recently were very benign, simply asking how the other was doing, what was going on in their life, etc.

then last night, the two of them talked for a little while on the facebook chat. i ran accross their conversation and it made me a little nervous. she is newly single, and does not seem to be happy about this. she kept telling him how lonely she was, how much she missed being with someone, and how bad she felt about herself, asking him questions like "am i pretty?" and "am i really too nice?" he was supportive, telling her she was a good person and such, but there were also a few lines like "you're attractive as hell" and "you were a good girlfriend." she told him she missed him and he replied that he missed her too, and they delved into their old relationship a little ("we were good together"). he told her that he still liked her after they broke up (i believe he was referring to a time before he started dating me), but said that she was seeing someone at the time. overall, he was trying to make her feel better i believe, but i felt that at times both were a tiny bit flirtatious. since this conversation with her last night, he has seemed a bit distant with me -- not texting as much as normal, etc.

he has told me that he would never go back to her and that he absolutely wants to marry me, so am i crazy for being worried about this? also: what is my next step? do i confront him or stay quiet and see whether this just goes away on its own? thanks so much for your advice!

[sbux_addict]

How were you able to see what they were chatting about?

[FloatingAnchor]

I think you should believe him, but I also think that he stepped out of bounds. I can understand how it feels good to flirt. He shouldn't have done it because clearly, it's not fair to you, but I don't believe that these actions mean he wants to leave you. I would talk with him about these comments and explain how they were hurtful to you. You weren't snooping on his account, were you?

[Scorpion Fury]

Not OK with me. He didn't need to talk to her. She can go find a friend. I would not put up with that BS>