Ex may be pregnant. I don't know why I feel this way.

[Demonblade]

My ex GF may be pregnant. Its been two months since we broke up and we both know that we still love each other. We're just friends. She just broke up with her recent BF because of massive trust issues (he constantly went through everything possible just to make sure she isn't cheating and she never did anything to arouse any type of suspision and is very loyal). She thinks she may be pregnant with his kid but she hasn't taken a test yet.

 

She and I are very close, there isn't a thing I don't know about. Whatever happens in her life, she tells me and vice-versa. I've even got several arguments between her and her recent bf/ex calmed and settled.

 

Heres the thing. I had been thinking and she told earlier that we will probably get back together as soon as she gets everything settled (she is upset with the recent break up and everything). That made me a little happy that she is thinking about getting back together with me.

 

But this is what I REALLY don't get. I'm kinda hoping she is pregnant, I don't know why. I can picture myself having kids with her and everything. But I don't know why I am hoping she is pregnant and the thought of her being pregnant and us together makes me so happy when it isn't my child.

 

I'm usually able to rationalize exactly why I feel this or that way but this I can't explain. Can you please explain to me why I feel this way? Is this normal?

[ratfreak]

I think it's more the fact that you might think that you two will be together if there is a child.

 

If she is pregnant, it's great that you can see yourself as a dad but you also have to think realistically about this.

If you are 19 and your gf is about the same age, it is going to be SO hard to raise a child.

If it's not yours, this also means her ex is going to be in her life all the time too.

[JustBeachy]

No offense, but run if she is pregnant. Run as fast as you can. It's not worth it and you're only 19. There's no way you're ready to be a dad. There's so much you haven't experienced yet in your life. You're still a teen! I'm 28 and I'm not ready for any of that. Kinda some hard nosed advice, but that's just how I see it.

[BellaDonna]

But this is what I REALLY don't get. I'm kinda hoping she is pregnant, I don't know why. I can picture myself having kids with her and everything. But I don't know why I am hoping she is pregnant and the thought of her being pregnant and us together makes me so happy when it isn't my child.

 

I'm usually able to rationalize exactly why I feel this or that way but this I can't explain. Can you please explain to me why I feel this way? Is this normal?

 

First, I am relieved that it is not your child. That would be a lot to take on at 19.

 

I think you are feeling a lot of mixed-up emotions. My theories:

 

*Maybe you are really excited about getting back with her, not truly the pregnancy.

 

*Maybe you think the pregnancy will increase her chances of "needing" you and you can "save" her (hero complex)

 

*Maybe it seems like fun to play house but know that you don't have the actual obligation to the child.

 

I think when you think of being with her and her ex's baby, it is a matter of having rose colored glasses on and seeing things from a fantasy perspective. I think if you did get back with her it would probably be A LOT different and A LOT less fun than what you might be imagining.

 

I hope for everyone's sake that she is not pregnant.

No offense, but run if she is pregnant. Run as fast as you can. It's not worth it and you're only 19. There's no way you're ready to be a dad. There's so much you haven't experienced yet in your life. You're still a teen! I'm 28 and I'm not ready for any of that. Kinda some hard nosed advice, but that's just how I see it.

 

I agree 100%.

 

You have so much to experience in life, and plenty of time to have a family of your own. You can make a wife and child very happy some day, but why settle now for a situation like this?

 

If the 2 of you were older I think it would be a little different. But at 19 this can't be a good thing. My husband was raised by a man that was not his father, and he is much closer to his stepdad than he is to his "real" father. I'm all for step-parents and non-traditional families, but I don't think it is something you should SEEK OUT at your age. Give yourself a chance to have a drama-free life.

[Demonblade]

I never really had much drama in my life. I know I'm not hoping because she may "need saving" because she lives with her best friend and her best friend's BF. Plus, she knows that I'm always there for her no matter what and I know that she is for me too.

 

I'm not completely sure if she and I are getting back together. I don't know. I've always wanted children and I really can see myself starting a family with her in the future. I've always said "not this soon" but maybe thats what it is? My wanting to start a family, parental desires (I guess you can say) sparked by her pregnancy I mean?

It isn't something I am seeking out though. I want to be with her, but if she has a child then I will help raise it as my own. I know it is very difficult to raise a child, mainly because I remember being a difficult child myself lol.