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Do the Dumpers ever regret breaking up with their bf/gf


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How to Forgive Yourself for Wasting...
How to Forgive Yourself for Wasting Time
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My ex regretted his decision pretty quick after the first breakup. He was taking lots of drugs when he dumped me so yeah it was bound to be a regrettable decision, but other than that he was feeling under pressure from work. Everyone told him it was a foolish decision. And still for two weeks he told me he knew the implications of the decision he made, that it hurts a lot but it would get better, that he just can't be with anyone at that moment...that we wouldnt get back together anytime soon.. .even then I could tell he wasn't convinced and he just didn't want to come back to me immediately and look stupid...

 

Then I read the forum, went NC and after 10-15 days he called...and called and called...I ignored as I told him never to contact me again unless he wanted reconciliation and even then I told him it'd probably be too late. He called 20 times, sent texts begging to pick up and left a vocal message telling me he's made the biggest mistake of his life and is still madly in love with me, and just freaked out.

 

Then it took me a few weeks to trust him again but his intentions were real and he spent a long time trying to win me back...after a month or so, we got back together.

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Am very glad to hear you got back with you ex. Hope things are going well.

 

unfortunately we split up again a month ago (1 year after the first breakup), but for completely different reasons! i'm now quite confused as to whether i want him back since we both made the decision to split up this time...I am going NC and will see what happens, in my head and with us...

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I was just messaging another poster on this same subject...

 

I can only speak from my experience. We are ALL different. How we react to situations and breakups are unique.

 

I was dating a woman for 9 months and broke up with her 7 weeks ago.

 

Reason? I just never felt like i was truly in love with her as the main reason, but there were other issues.

 

It's been extremely tough for me. I thought it would be better by now, but it isn't. Right now I'm just going through the grieving process of losing my best friend of the last 9 months...it's a tough pill to swallow.

 

BUT... Do I regret it? Not necessarily. Not to the point that I should pick up the phone and call her or go over there. Actually, when I imagine myself doing so, I don't get excited, i feel that pit of my stomach tell me 'NO'...

 

Why? Because many people do the natural thing: Mistake being lonely with being in love. The cliche of looking back and remembering only the good times is true.

 

What I don't want to look back and remember?

 

1. Her texting her ex and telling him that I didn't measure up to him (after 3 months of dating...Yes, I did forgive her as she gave every excuse)

 

2. Her immaturity with resolving conflict.

 

3. Her not being able to control her emotions and ruining several big events

 

4. Her not having her own hobbies/interests (hanging out with your friends is NOT a hobby or interest)...in the process smothering me.

 

5. Her lack of drive/ambition...it's fine if you want to stay in a low paying, unsatisfying job...NO PROBLEM....i'm the man, it's my job to win the dough... but don't tell me you're looking for support and when i give it say 'i'm just not that interested in another job, i told you my friends/family are the most important thing'....in other words...be who you are, and don't complain about your situation and say you want to change if you don't intend on doing so.

 

So, to answer your question...sometimes we as dumpers are very sad at our loss. it's just as much picking up the pieces for us as it is for you. it's confusing, lonely.

 

But you have to listen to your gut and then give it time.... time away will be the ultimate judge...if i still miss HER, not to confuse with being lonely, in a few months...then i'll reconsider....

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I dumped my last boyfriend and I do not regret it.

I did really hurt for the first several months and it was very difficult. But if I break up with someone, it's always something I think very long and hard about. No rash decisions.

I end it when I'm absolutely sure I must.

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Question for those that have dumped their bf/gf. Did you ever regret your decision to breakup and how you went about it??

 

Yes, I regretted it for years. It has only been in this last year that I have really moved on and gained some sort of hope for finding someone who is truly right for me. Now all in all, she really was not the right person for me, and in the long run, I am a better person for leaving her. But yes, I did regret it at first.

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I regretted breaking up with my ex but it took me awhile to realise i still wanted to be with him.

 

I would say not everyone regrets breaking up with someone, but that doesn't mean they have no feelings regarding the person there breaking up with.

 

I think that people get confused and think the dumper just stops all feelings for the person his leaving, i've never found that to be true, its just while you'll always care for them you stop loving them wholeheartedly. After all they were a part of your life.

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Well thats a yes and no answer.

I regreted it at first because i hated being alone, and was relient on him for my well being, but after he said no to taking me back i began to see the light.

And yea it still hurts today, but its less then it first was.

So right now, i think im leading towards not regreting it. Since the break up my vision is hurt, but its also clearer. Im discovering how i lost so much of myself in the relationship, and everyday i become more indepedent. Everyday im taking back more of the control i allowed him to have of my happyness, and taking up the responsibility to fullfill my happiness.

I cant wait for my next relationship in the future, cause i know i will allow myself to be so much more healthier within it.

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My ex broke up with me and then she tried to reconcile. I agreed to the reconciliation because I wanted to make things work. She put in absolutely zero effort into making it work so I dumped her for good.

 

Do I regret it? yes and no. I miss the company and attention she gave me and all the intimate moments but I don't miss the hurt and emotional pain she put me through. She strung me along until she found someone else and I couldn't live like that. Perhaps I should have put more effort in but when the SO isn't making any at all what's the point?

 

A relationship involves two people and those two people need to put in equal effort to make it work. If one or the other doesn't it will fail.

 

I still love her but I could never be with her.

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I regret breaking up with my gf because It was for immature reasons, to bad its to late now.

This sounds like something my boyfriend had done to me. By immature reasons, what do you mean by that ? I'm not looking for hope to come back to my boyfriend, but I really want to know what this immaturity thing is all about. When my boyfriend dumped me, he said he wasn't mature enough, and that he felt like it needed to be done. It was so abrupt and I didn't understand it at all.

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My ex broke up with me and then she tried to reconcile. I agreed to the reconciliation because I wanted to make things work. She put in absolutely zero effort into making it work so I dumped her for good.

 

Do I regret it? yes and no. I miss the company and attention she gave me and all the intimate moments but I don't miss the hurt and emotional pain she put me through. She strung me along until she found someone else and I couldn't live like that. Perhaps I should have put more effort in but when the SO isn't making any at all what's the point?

 

A relationship involves two people and those two people need to put in equal effort to make it work. If one or the other doesn't it will fail.

 

 

One of my exs also wanted to try to work things out over and over again and he put no effort into it. I do not regret leaving considering he was emotionally and physically abusive.

 

I wish my last guy tried and wanted to work things out. I have no idea if he misses me and I don't care because I don't want him back. It's been exhausting trying to pull a relationship for months all on your own and hitting a brick wall.

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I regret one of the guys I dumped - both how I did it, and sometimes I regret leaving him. He was more-or-less a rebound for me after I went through a dramatic and traumatic breakup with a man I'd spent 6 years with and been engaged to twice. I liked this new guy, but I really wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Worse, it was a long-distance relationship, and to be honest with you I wasn't being honest with him; I was dating others locally (none seriously), though I to this day believe he never knew.

 

I broke up with him when it both became clear that we were not going to be able to be together full-time for at least several more years, and I around the same time got seriously involved with one of the local guys I'd been casually seeing. It really broke his heart, and put him in a tough position. He'd been making plans to move to my town, and though he'd already decided well before the breakup that he couldn't move because of his son, and so we both knew that our relationship was headed for trouble, he'd already quit his job and given up his lease, and now he had the breakup to deal with as well.

 

I to this day feel truly horrible about it - the timing, how I went about it, everything. I've ended all my long-term relationships (6 in total now), but all the others were for good reason and we both mutually agreed it was for the best, or else my partner was abusive and I finally up and left. But this man had always been good to me, and if the logistics and timing had worked out so that we could be together, I think we could have been happy together.

 

He asked me shortly after breaking up not to contact him, and I stuck to that for a year, only responding if he contacted me first. Then a year later I broke down and sent him a late-night email when I and the local guy were on the rocks. He was smart enough to say "No, thanks". To this day we talk rarely, mostly by his choice, and I respect that.

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Yes I do but the decision was made because I genuinely felt it was for the best. I didnt feel I should have to break into Fort Knox on an emotional level consistently and she didn't want to feel trapped, at least I think. There were problems and I already had been dealt a few blows with this, things being said etc. When it's an LDR, you need effective communication too, especially with emotions. She told me I was special, that she was falling for me and that she wanted us to work but her actions never backed it up.

 

I regret it because I think I let the love of my life go. But on the same token, if I was there, she might not ever resolve her fears and problems. At the time, I felt like that despite giving my all, I wasn't enough for her.

 

In short, the regret has screwed me up but not as much as my giving of my heart and soul and receiving so little back.

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