Musicians?

[ghost69]

all subjective still. let's say she didn't know you were a musician and liked you for you. if she found this out and left you, that'd be pretty picky.

[My Advice]

lol I know a 20 year old player who steals lyrics because he sings and plays the guitar well and then plays the most emo song he can when he first meets them. A lot of the time he ends up sleeping with them and never calling again or telling them he loves them while cheating.

 

Young women bring this on themselves.

 

I however can't stand fake people, esp ones who abuse women, and had to curb kick this guy's friendship.

[lost1607307474]

I'm a musician myself so I like it when I find people with similar interests to me. But from an objective perspective, I don't think it really matters. Why should you feel the need to flaunt the fact that you play an instrument when instead you could show off your amazing personality and charm? You could bring up the fact that you're a musician, but don't think it should be used as a tool to attract women.

[tiredofvampires]

I've never understood why girls get so riled up about musicians. I think they like the bragging rights of dating a guy in a band. That, and maybe they live vicariously through their boyfriends because they don't feel they have any special talents of their own.

 

While there's some truth to the "status" point of saying you're dating a guy in a band, or the living vicariously element, that's not why some girls like musicians. I'm guilty as charged for having in the past been particularly drawn to musicians, but it was never a GOAL of sorts just for its own sake, and certainly not for the reasons you've mentioned here; I don't base who I date or fall in love with on whether they're musicians. It just so happens that I find music to be one of the most expressive and visceral, immediate forms of art, and it connects people...so the passion involved with music really draws me.

 

I have to admit though that it's great to be with someone with whom you share such a passion, and having a boyfriend who plays something is like having your favorite personal station on all the time. It's great. It's something to share and get excited about, and it's more accessible than some other art forms, or if he was in a field I didn't know anything about.

 

I've had as many bad experiences with musicians as good ones (right now, leaning into enough bad to be wary), and overall I'd say a career musician would be tough, maybe impossible for me at this point. The guys I've gotten with who were musicians, it was more a serious hobby (or quasi professional level) and they did it just because they liked it, and I sometimes found out about it after being interested in them for other reasons, so it was like "Wow! What a fabulous bonus, that's so cool!!"

 

So I agree with this:

 

I think it's great to have musical ability but there needs to be more than that.

[agatha]

ok, if you are a musician and do that for a living, to me it would be almost like saying 'I'm a doctor' - no pros, no cons, let me check your personality first, please. professional musicians can be as boring as lawyers when they get too technical on their stuff - I've got the right to say it, my second major is singing.

 

but if you're a lawyer who plays something else, just for fun, that says something else about you, and I'd surely like to see you play something, as a part of getting to know you better. not that I'd fall straight forward to your (magnificent?) skills, but when someone plays, you know that if the two of you get really passionate, that's how he/she'll play you.

 

extremely rare exceptions on that one. also, if you play a flute, you can coordinate mouth and fingers in out-of-the-ordinary ways, if it's anything else, wow, your fingers! drummers are very sexy, but I can't seem to conect, so I don't have any info to base an opinion. good singers can be the best kissers in the world, but it's too much of an ego clash for me to have ever tried going beyond it.

 

opinions, anyone?

[whes]

The right music with the right instrument in the hands of the right person, is bloody hot. Guys who I perhaps wouldn't look at normally, if I see them play and they are really into the music (i.e. can't see anything else but) and they are good, they double their attractiveness. Good musicianship reveals a lot about a character: commitment, passion, emotion, creativity, patience, dedication.

 

I'm not a big fan of wind instruments, but a guy who plays cello, piano, guitar really well, or drums, or bari sax, mmmmm. Pipers too, for some odd reason. I've done music my whole life and I've never really been attracted physically to musicians, but it changes slightly when I seem them play, if they are good musicians with an obvious passion. There is just this crazy intensity that goes on. When you love the music you play and you're performing, you don't see anything at all but the music. I know that sounds weird, you can't actually see music, but... well, you can. Music is definitely, DEFINITELY, much more than a mathematical language.

 

I'm a cellist, myself. (Also flute. And sax. Guitar. Bass. Piano (ish). Clarinet). It is an extremely evocative, passionate, sensual, earthy instrument. And I know that playing it makes me almost instantly more attractive. Heck, even just carrying it around gets instant attention. "Is that a cello????"

 

So, yes. I would say that musicians can have an extra edge. But they gotta be good, and they gotta have something to back it all up. If they've got that crazy focus and passion when they play, well then. Sign me up.

[easyguy]

I know what you mean... someone who isn't all ego, but has actually put in a lot of time and effort to be articulate. This is something that can become a challenge, as well. I started a thread on ENA the other day talking about the trade-offs of being focused, diligent and serious about your music. If you practice a lot, you are isolated. If you are always around people, you don't have the freedom to practice. So it isn't a matter of what, but WHEN.

 

This is the point where I'm at in my life. I've put in so much time over the years (saxophone) that I haven't had the opportunity to let a social life develop. This isn't to say that I'm a hermit, but it is difficult to relate to a lot of people when a lot of my mental energy is on musical development, not including promo work. But I can't imagine doing anything else. Even if someone, say, a partner, doesn't help out, it's at least important to respect someone's passion, especially if it has the potential to inspire others.

[epsilon2x]

Hey again guys...I just wanted to raise the question about musicians....

 

Anyone think girls find musicians more attractive JUST because they are musicians? Or does it have to do more with the instrument they play, or their willingness to play for you..

 

I've been playing guitar for about 9 years, piano for 7, and Saxophone for 4...Any of those I really shouldn't mention? lol

 

It has nothing to do with what instrument you play, or what sport you play, or how much you bench press. The truth is: The rocker wishes he was with the sports guy because he gets all the women, The sports guy wishes he was the rocker because he gets all the women. It's always greener on the other side. Don't do something because you think girls will like it more. In the end it's just how you to connect on a social level. Unless you just want to play piano for her every time you see her, or play catch.

[Bastions Girl]

Aviators,

 

Musicians, as a general rule, are a self-confident bunch because perhaps more than any other profession, they've had to learn how to self-promote and become staunchly resistant to criticism and rejection. This kind of raw, punchy self-confidence always has a romantic aura which seems to attract members of the opposite sex. My guess is it probably has little to do with the actual instrument played.

 

This I agree with 100%--it tends to be very true about musicians and plays a large roll, at least for me, in their attractiveness. However, you've got to be careful that this behavior doesn't lead to being, for lack of a better word, self-absorbed and full of it.

 

Being impervious to criticism has its uses in the music industry, but in relationships you've got to be willing to accept that there may be some things about you that aren't perfect or "just someone's opinion" and that there could actually be a problem. Just speaking from observed behaviors.