I need some advice.... :(

[Jessi13077]

me and my current boyfriend have been together for two years. We're both very emotional people and when I get upset and cry he gets angry at me and it hurts me alot. I have one major thing that i want in a relationship and that is if they really love me then they can be completely honest with me and I won't judge them about it. Well first he disappeared to his friends down south for three weeks once and that hurt me alot. then he comes back like everythings fine. But then i start noticing things. He has this very strange obsession with his best friend and he acts very gay about it and I've found gay porn on his cd's and pictures to people online i confront him about it and he lies so then i explain how I know he's lyeing and he turns it around on me. WE fight constantly BUT i don't know what to do because he doesn't have any friends anymore that he can turn to and he has no family . i don't want to kick him out on the streets but i really don't know how long i can take this.

Plus theres anohter factor. I Miss my ex of three years ago alot. About a year ago we hung out a few times and things were good. But now he has a girlfriend and we talk now and then but nothing really big he usually is an a-hole cause she's around but if she's not and i have something i heard or somthing to ask he's pleasent and sweet. But thats not a huge issue. it;s just i always put mine and my current boyfriends relationshp to mine and my ex's relationship because i was so happy in the past one which was a really good relationship.

I unno do you have any advice at all

i know this is all jumbled but this is how it is in my head and I don't know how else to put it down

[Beec]

First things first, try to figure out if your current bf is gay or not. If he is, just get away. Staying with him would be more heartache than it couldever be worth. Imagine having a child ro two and him coming home to tell you he is leaving you for a man. Devastating is what it would be.

 

Second, figure out whether you want to be in a relationship with him or not. It does not seem very healthy with the way you handle issues, you cry, he yells, etc. Pity should not be a factor of your staying. It's not an emotion that gives a relationship strength. If he needs to move out, tell him. He obviously has a friend or two to rely on.

 

If he is out and gone, think about what you want. Go find another man. If your ex is free go get him. You might be able to seduce him away from her, but don't make a cheater out of him to do it. Make him dump her to come to you. Act like you will accept him, but it is his choice if he makes that move.

[Suavemantotherescue]

Well for one thing, why are you with a dude that hits you? Unless it was like 1 time accendently, I advise you to leave him because it can get wores.

 

As for the gay thing, to me it seems obvious that he is. However, if someone plantted it in his CD as a prank then you have to find that out. For his buddy you say he acts gay with, ask him if your BF is gay. If he wont tell you then you'll have to use your best judgement. Just remember that don't jump to conclusion since sometimes two dudes act gay just because thats the way they show friendship but if he's all touching his butt and kissing, then he is for sure. If he is gay, again, I advise you to leave.

 

Finally, you have to question yourself who you want more. Oyur old BF or your current one. If you truly believe you would be happyer with your old one, I suggest you talk to him again. Your current BF seems to be too much of a hassle but if yuo truly love him more, well thats up to you. I hope that helps.

[Jessi13077]

i never said he hit me did i? if I did it was a typo sorry He doesn't hit me by the way. he gets so mad sometimes he seems like he wants to and he runs off and it hurts me he walks away from it like it will fix it's self which obviously it won't but it's like he wants to move to florida but he has nowhere to go down there and I don't want to lose him completely we could be friends. I don't have many and it's hard for me to make them. bt i unno i just don't know how to react or act any more. and with the ex i unno it's a weird subject like he's nice to me when they were broke up he hangs out with me makes advances towards me I turned him down but when they're together he's all into her , even though i found out she cheated on him and he cheated on her, but she never admitted it to him till he was remorseful and told her, and he talked to me about it a lil. and didn't get mad i knew and I said I thought it was nasty and he deserved better. so thats a plus I guess.. ( he's never talked to me like that in a long time)

but i unno with the current issue Im just lost I love him to death but I feel like im not in love with him and he's not in love with me it's like we just deal with it

[Beec]

One guy cheats and the other is probably gay, why not just go get a new and different guy. You should not want one who is gay or one who cheats.

 

Maybe what you should do is work on the skills need to make friends and go do that. It's not the toughest thing to do.

[Jessi13077]

he never cheated on me ... and ya he's gay

[Xandra]

So you asked him and he is gay? Ouch!! Well at least you can explain why he was so angry all the time. He was probably hating himself on the inside, knowing he's gay and that he's lying to himself.

 

Take it as an experience - something that has NOT been your fault, and move on. It can be something you can laugh about down the road hopefully!