We're taking "a break"...HELP

[ChrisYellowV6Stang]

I don't know what to think...me and my girlfriend of 1 year on march 15th just decided to "take a break" because of trust issues...I love her with all my heart, and I know she feels the same for me...I had told her many times that if I didn't love her as much as I really do, then I would have broken up with her many times, and I had considered breaks but they never really seemed to do any good in my mind..but she brought up the idea maybe we'd miss each other more if we did take one...and i'm just wondering what is everybody's experience on this? Any ideas? She's planning on coming down tomorrow night after I get out of driving school to take me back home with her for the night...but wouldnt that sort of defeat the entire purpose of taking a break???????

[raggamuffin]

Yes seeing her would compleatly defet the purpose of having a break. A break needs rules, if you can see eachother or not, why you can see eachother etc, etc. I suppose it depends on why she wants to see you. If its to talk getting back and unbreaking then good if not well then why should you see her if its just to make her feel better? Thats just what I think. Establish why she wants to see you and then decide if you want to see her. From my experience breaks dont solve anything and are meaningless but I know others who it has worked for. Just make sure that you dont let her walk all over you during this time because you are feeling fragile and eager to please.

[Lilu]

Hiya there =)

 

 

Breaking, or giving eachother space it's sometimes what people need to see where the relationship is going. Take this opportunity of her coming to see you to let her know your feelings about this. In my experience- giving eachother space makes you realize how much you care and miss the person, when they aren't around. Same with them.

 

Hope I have made sense and hope it has helped.

 

Best of luck,

 

Lilu :silly:

[Wintermute]

Hey, my girlfriend and I of over a year just broke up. At first I had hopes I could just be friends with her for a while, and show her how good we could be together. I've kind of learned that's not really what she wanted and it's not the best thing for both of us.

Sometimes being in such a close relationship can stunt your growth and become entirely different than what a relationship is supposed to to - encourage growth. My suggestions are that you try a little seperation. In the meantime, you can contact each other and basically be friends, but just that. Keep the time with each other to a minimum and keep away from anything physical, no matter how much you both might want to hold each other. It might feel better for a while, but in the end it hurts more.

Take a month or so off of being together and meet some new people. Talk to your friends, go out on dates, and basically expand your life and learn about other people. I just got done with talking to my dad, and it really helped a lot. Talking to other people about it is probably the best thing you can do. In the end, if it's meant to be, both of you will return to each other with a better view of life, which is always a good thing. Good luck, and remember there's a lot more out there than you realize.