exploding head Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I've been kind of hanging out with a new crew and there's a girl that is kinda cool. She's 26, a Psych. grad student, smart, funny, foreign. Well, everytime i see her, she hugs me, and even brought me a book based on a conversation we had a few months back. The other night at a party, we were talking and I kind of gave her a flirty smile and she all of sudden flushed and started doing the whole dragging her fingers accross her neck while i moved in close to her. At that point, some douchenozzle interrupted us and she went off with her friend. I'm more friendly with her than anything else, she is attractive, so who knows. Just kind of using this as an test. I called her the other night too see if she wanted to go do something fun, she said "to hang out, right?" I said "yeah" (thinking what the f***?). I actually dont mind hanging with her, because shes cool, but why would she say that? Since shes a pysch major, Im sure shes wise to guys. Looking like her, she'd have to be. I'm new to dating again and it's kind of confusing. Any ideas here? This was a lot easier when i was 19, had long hair, played in a rock band... Link to comment
l0vel0rn Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Go hang out with her. She is responding positively to everything you’ve done so far, so why not push it farther? If you stop now, you’ll confuse her and possibly piss her off and miss your chance. Link to comment
exploding head Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 yeah, but she made it point (in a different tone) "to hang out, right?" I havent done anything to really show this girl im interested other than some flirty smiles and being genuinely friendly. I wasnt even really interested all that much til I saw her flush. it was hot. Link to comment
l0vel0rn Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Bottom line, go for it. Hang out. That’s what she’s up for so go do it. You got to keep inching it forward or you’ll be sending her mixed messages. She needs to know what you’re thinking, and you need to let on what you’re thinking a little at a time. You’ll either hit a road bump where she will make it obvious she’s not interested in more than friendship, or she’ll let you keep inching forward until you two are together, because it’s what she ultimately wants. The ball is in your court. Go for it. Link to comment
Tethys Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Why didn't you try to kiss her? Link to comment
exploding head Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Well, when i called her that night, i was in her neighborhood (got held up at work . I said "Hey, what are you doing right now? Let’s go have some fun!” She said “I’d love to actually, but im studying”… went into this whole thing about school, busy.. “I said no worries, when are you free?” “Friday night, do you know (some bar) in Santa Monica?” “So you just want to hang out, right?” I don’t get it. This girl was seriously blushing and being playful. Link to comment
Tethys Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Hm, you might have blown it. Some of the guys here can educate you, but you have to strike when the iron is hot. I would play cool for a few days if I were you. Link to comment
exploding head Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Why didn't you try to kiss her? I'd just had a cigar in the backyard and it just would not have been a time to kiss her, in the kitchen getting drinks, lots of people around. Link to comment
exploding head Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Hm, you might have blown it. Some of the guys here can educate you, but you have to strike when the iron is hot. I would play cool for a few days if I were you. What did i blow? You're saying I should have responded "no, i dont want to hang out, I want to go back to your place?" lol Or maybe not so bluntly Link to comment
Tethys Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 What did i blow? You're saying I should have responded "no, i dont want to hang out, I want to go back to your place?" lol Or maybe not so bluntly No, don't be blunt -- it will turn her off. Just cool it for a few days and then see what happens. Link to comment
exploding head Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 No, don't be blunt -- it will turn her off. Just cool it for a few days and then see what happens. What did I blow? Link to comment
Tethys Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Oh, I didn't see your other post. I just don't want you to get friendzoned with this gal, that is all.. Link to comment
exploding head Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 I guess it's strange because i actually DO like her friendship. When she said "hang out" I heard "Im not interested" Link to comment
Tethys Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I guess it's strange because i actually DO like her friendship. When she said "hang out" I heard "Im not interested" Yeah, 'hang out' is totally nebulous. Could mean either. However, I do advise NOT being her friend. Let her come to you. If she's interested, you will know. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I guess it's strange because i actually DO like her friendship. When she said "hang out" I heard "Im not interested" I agree it's an ambiguous thing to say. Hard to tell. Like Tethys said, be like Fonzie for a few days. What's Fonzie like? Cool? Correctumundo. Link to comment
Tethys Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I agree it's an ambiguous thing to say. Hard to tell. Like Tethys said, be like Fonzie for a few days. What's Fonzie like? Cool? Correctumundo. LOL, that's almost perfect -- he needs to be "cool." Link to comment
imsuperman Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 LOL, that's almost perfect -- he needs to be "cool." Oh you know I had to bust out the "Pulp Fiction" quote, haha. Link to comment
Tethys Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Of course you did, and I love ya for it. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 a girl asked you to hang out and you are questioning that? Link to comment
exploding head Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 a girl asked you to hang out and you are questioning that? yes. Seems like im just the friend again. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 yes. Seems like im just the friend again. uhhhhh, okay. i didn't see that. Link to comment
exploding head Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 What do you see? I think a female perspective might be nice. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 What do you see? I think a female perspective might be nice. she said hang out. how do you see that being 'just friendly' and nothing more? that means she enjoys your company. doesn't mean she wants to just jump into a relationship or anything. you won't find too many girls bold enough to ask a guy out so.... would i say she is flirting saying that? no. but she didn't tell you 'maybe some other time' or anything to kind of keep you at bay like a blowoff. i had a girl tell me to come over and hang out this weekend. we had a great time and had sex later. but i'm not a girl i guess, so you don't want my opinion. Link to comment
purpleduckie Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 ya, i didn't think it was friend-zoning either. she might be hoping it was a date, but asked to clarify your intentions... but didnt want to be fwd and say "lke a date...?" see how it goes but i have a feeling she's attracted to you too. Link to comment
l0vel0rn Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Look, don’t stress over the “hang out” comment. Just go hang out. It’s not a marriage proposal. You’re trying to see if something has really sparked, and that’s ok. You’re comfortable with friendship so that’s a plus. Just be cool, being cool is what got you to this point. You start stressing over every little thing and you’re gonna stop being the cool person she appears to like. Go and hang out. Have fun. Be charming. Flirt. And inch, not rush, forward. If she’s open to it, you’ll know. If not, then you guys are still friends, hopefully. But to me, this sounds like a real opportunity. I don’t see the “hang out” comment as a deal breaker. Sounds like clarification, and she is willing to hang out. She could have just blown you off and not offered you an opening. She is offering you an opening. Go for it. You’re never going to know what it could be unless you move forward. Link to comment
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