I just can't trust her! what do i do!?

[not tellin]

i cant trust my own girlfriend because when ever she meets a new lad she has to flirt with them and then she says she loves me and wen eva i say i love her she calls me a liar. i cant trust her to meet my mates cos she'll end up chatting them up! and she always goes on about other lads and how much she likes them and what shes done with other people and i suffer from depresion and this doesnt help because every time she does it i end up either trying 2 cut my wrist or drinking too much! how can i stop this!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[ForAnother]

Hey man I cut too. I also have depression. I know how you are at the moment.

 

My girlfriend is really pretty, and alot of guys hit on her. I mean its fine, she knows what to do and what not to do. She does talk about past guys, how they were really nice and stuff. I get kinda jealous but think. How many girls do you know that you think are nice or whatever? She has the same about guys. Some are nice to her, so she verbally tells you.

 

Its hard, I know. You just feel like she doesn't like you. But I am sure she enjoys being with you. So sometimes you have to ignore things. Believe that she loves you, and see if you can ignore them. I know cutting feels amazing, just got to look at life as, what is really important to worry about and what is not? You and I being so young (I assume your in your teens), we gotta understand that these girls mean alot to us now, butlater don't the road things change. Love and such.

 

But the best thing you can do right now is tell her that you get jealous. She will decide what it is she wants. Just don't worry too much about things. Look at whats fun in life to do and stuff. Hey is she really worth all your pain? Depression is tough.

 

Good luck, PM if you need, or reply. Some other people might have some good suggestions too.

 

For Another

[woopsydaisy]

Hi....hard situation to be in.If i were you i would question the relationship...first of all it seems like shes been insensitive to your feelings or your been over sensitive.Its very easy to be insecure in a relationship and look for things that you dont like about a situation or a pesron and see what your looking for...(dont know if that makes sense!).You may be overreacting to her flirting and she may just be an outgoing chatty person.But then again she may just be a flirt full stop.If you told her about how you feel and she keeps on doing it your only going to get worse and worse.You need to sort this out quick.My advice is to chat with her and tell her how much you dislike so and so...listen to her and then give your opinion.You need to sort it out.If you dont come to sort of compromise ...i would say its going to be hard to be happy with her.....sorry to be blunt and what not.... remember im no expert ......Also are you getting help with the depression...if not you need to because it can create havoc with your personal relationships.Thats all i can think of..One more thing if you tell her you love her but she dosent believe you...ask her why not ? and get a good answer from her.Take care.

[Chrysalis_77]

Be honest. Tell her how you feel about the situation, tell her how uncomfortable you are to see her that way. One thing, you have the right to feel and say it. Hope all will be ok with you.

 

 

Chrissy

[sphinx999]

Wow you sound like my boyfriend, what you have to realise is that she chose you and not these guys. It is some girls nature to flirt they do it do it intentionally. She may have a security complex so she cannot believe that you love her, girl get those you know. I limited my boyfriend to one drink for a while just until he could control him self. Also if he cuts his wrists it usually ends up with me threatening to dump him, my advice is buy a punch bag, take you pent up anger on that.

[not tellin]

Sorry i don't understand how someone could not believe they love you and expect you to love them back. And if they don't believe you doesn't that sort of say they don't trust you?

 

mike

[sphinx999]

She might not think that she is worthy of you it does happen sometimes, she does trust you but maybe she was hurt in the past and never feels secure. And doesnt everyone primarily want to be loved.

[not tellin]

Okay thankyou for all your advice people. mike

[chriscarlander]

Your depression could be in connection with your relationship, and it's clearly not a happy one.

 

Break up with her, regain your health, get over your self induced depression, and then find someone who is better for you. If you stay with her, then.......*shrugs*

[jellybean18]

Oh my g-d!! Cutting yourself, are u crazy??? If u really care about this girl and the people that are close to you then u'll stop doing that to yourself. Whya re u so insecure first of all. Do u not trust her? Has she cheated on you before? Have you talked to ehr about this?

Here's teh thing, I'm dating this guy and I'm not really sure how strongly he feels for me. so whenever we're togetehr I subtly mention some guy friend that I had lunch with or that I hung out with(we have different friends so we hang out separately sometimes)just to see if he has a reaction. If he acts jealous, then i know that atleast he cares a little. Unfortunately, it usually backfires on me cuz he plays it cool. He knows i'm a very social person, usually the life of the party or whatnot, and that beofre him I had many guy-friends so he's kinda ok with me hanging out with them. Maybe she's looking for reassurance that you like her or love her.. You NEED to talk to her abou thisIf a person says I love you , it means nothing if they don't prove it to you in their actions. It seems on the surface that this girl is a bitch, but she could be as insecure as you are and uses flirting( with no purpose) with other guys as a defense mechanism. I know I do. It's not he best way, but you guys are so damn complicated, sometimes if you don't tell us how you feel about us, we have no other choice. Good luck and hope this helps you out man. Feel free to talk to me anytime, whenever you feel depressed or whtever cuz i do too sometimes and it really helps to talk to people.

[missie]

Hi,

 

Well, I know exactly what you are talking about, because I have the same problem.

By boy loves me very much, and never cheated on me, but I find it difficult to trust him too.

 

Did something happen with ex-girls in your life, did they cheat on you, did they hurt you? Maybe you are afraid that it will happen again (in my case that is the reason, ex-boyfriends...) But you have to realise that not everyone is the same. You should try to trust her, and most of all, try to respect yourself and believe YOU are the one she loves, otherwise she wouldn't be with you, but with some other guy...

 

I know it is very easy to say, I am struggling with it to, but I think I am doing better now, and it won't be good every day, but every good day is a win for us. So just take your time to sort this out, don't look to far in the future, live by today, think about tomorrow, but not about next week.

 

A hug

 

missie