A life not worth living

[Omar_how_creative]

Hi,

man, I feel even worse now reading all the REAL problems people have. I kind of feel stupid thinking of the issues I have. Actually, I shouldn't really have any -well, maybe just a few. I just need to vent myself I guess, cause if I don't, I'm really going down.

 

My ex girlfriend left me like July last year. I had to leave the US because my visa expired (German, ex student)…..I thought everything was going well, besides the fact that I couldn't get my work visa after graduating. We held out for 10 long months while I was serving in the army over here. Then 3 more when I went back to see her. So anyway, in the end, she leaves me, and ever since I feel like my life has become senseless. So I start writing and begging her to take me back. Beginning of this week I get an E-Mail that this has gone way too far and that she's happy with some other guy and god knows what else. Man, I felt like jumping out the window. Though I don't even blame her, because I'm an idiot at times. Fact is, I had to stop watching my favorite show "Kind of Queens" because it reminded me too much of happier days. I am so unhappy over here, although I have a pretty cool job and all, and I tried it with other women, but it doesn't work because I think of her like 24 hours a day, even in my dreams (and that's the worst, because the next morning you wake up and think the dream was true until reality hits). So sometimes I think, if a loaded gun was sitting next to me, would I do it? The answer used to be "no", but lately it's turning to "yes" more often. The only reason why I haven't done it is because I know I would break my family's heart as well. My grandma would kill herself, because she already lost a son in a car accident a few years ago.

 

So yeah, my issues really aren't issues, and yet, I want to end it all. Man, life sucks, and I ask myself how I deserved this. Never done anything bad to others, always honest, hard working. And this is what you get. Wow. Thanks GOD! Thanks for everything…………

 

Anyway, thanks for listening.

[forumjunkie]

Sorry one last point - it's probably a good thing that you don't want to watch the TV show any more read a book instead - I suggest a book by Dave Eggers called a heartbreaking work of staggering genius.

[tikigirl]

he he forum junkie, i like your style.

 

as for omar, wow, i wish there were more guys like you. i am beginning to lose faith in the whole of mankind and guys like you giveme hope. every tmei read of more men date raping girls for kicks, or see some guy cheating on the person he 'loves', i lose a bit more faith. Come to England, breed lots, spread the love, we'll kill all the 'rude boy players', women will rule the world and everyone will live in peace and harmony...

 

ah, what a world

 

im off for a drink

[akatoro]

Women ruling the world..?

I dunno.. There'd prolly be as much hate and war, it would just be carried out in a more descrete fashion

 

And as for killing yourself..

Raise your chin and realise that you don't need anyone to be a "whole". It is but a matter of raising strength and know that you can take the bull by the horns.. Lashing out on other people is quite a bad solution and it won't solve your issues. Come to think of it, it would just give those other people reason to feel down as well..

I have myself felt down very often in the past, not always because of depression but also due to lady-troubles. I have never been much of a fighter, I tend to give up and start over instead.. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I can heal, you can too. I believe that we have the chance to govern our lives but also the responsibility to do it wisely, not to mention the strength to get through rough times.

 

(Not aimed at anyone in particular and certainly not the Author of this thread)

People here have said that they want a place to live in where humanity is "one" and where there's no fights, hate or misery.. You don't really get that by being rude and picking fights do you? Those who think so might want to scrap their mouthfull of depends and get a clue in their head before they open their mouths and starts shooting themselves in their feet.

 

Good luck, Omar.

I wish you all the best and that you don't start thinking like a loser. Be the winner.

[pchellak]

Tikigirl,

After reading your reply, i sure am glad women are not ruling the planet.

Earth has 6 billion people on the planet, of which approximately 3 billion are men. You couldn't possibly have met all of them or even a small percentage(If you meet 1 man every minute, at 100 years you would have met about 50 million men). On what basis are you losing your faith in mankind ?

[loslos]

man, i understand what you feel...

i've gone through the same thing before and im going through it again.....

i've wanted to end my life and i still do but just like you, i feel sorry for my family and for the few real friends i have...

[cakes]

Yeah i know life sucks sometimes but i CAN'T BELIEEVE you stopped watching "King of Queens" THAT IS MY FAV SHOW TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Anyways~ About how things have been going with you..I know how hard it is to get over a break up. Its' never easy and sometimes it takes years to get over someone that special. But to be honest, even though, i'm one to really believe in a true true love, there are many others out there that can do the same for you. 1 girl out of the entire universe? Perfect for you? The same one you lost? That may be true, but there may also be a universe of girls that you haven't gotten to know...

 

Party I think that it hasn't happened for you yet, is because you haven't accepted what's happened between you and your ex. And until you do, you can finally open your heart up to other people, the same exact way you did with your ex. There are tons of people out there to love, and i know that some are extremely special to us. but is it worth taking our lives away? When there might, just might be someone else out there more special??