Loki71 Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 To much sadness these days. Everytime I try to be positive someone close to me is sad. I want to make people happy but I can't make everyone happy. I wish sometimes I could just go and leave and live in a cabin in the woods. No cell phone, internet, tv, just me and the wild. I would have true peace and quite for awhile. Maybe someday I will but for now it seems the only peace I will ever get is when I am dead. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 Yet still so much sadness. I am so lonely that I just can't seem to get myself going. It's hard to be motivated when your alone. I just wish someone would come and help me. Someone to give me a reason to get up and go.Women always look for their superman or knight in shinning armor but the truth is men need their princess or their Guinevere. Well I am tired (big Surprise) enough for tonight. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 Today was a better day. Had contact with the ex and what could have turned into another fight I felt I did a good job of staying cool and not getting upset and screwing up again. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 And so much for the better day. Right at the end it crashes like normal. Why do I keep setting myself up for the fall? Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 So tired of being alone. No adult's to talk to. I sit here day after day alone in my room. My own friends seem to have moved on. I feel like since I couldn't keep my family together that even my friends see my as a loser and no longer want to be around me. Maybe they are right. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 Man Aleah really knows how to make me feel like a failure. She whines cause I can't make kids show up here to play with. I feel like even though we went out for breakfast and to a movie wasn't good enough for her. I feel like a * * * * ty father. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 Trying to stay positive and up beat but it's so hard when everything reminds me of what happened and how much it hurt. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 90% of the day is over and so far it has been a good day. Nothing happened to make it good but the fact nothing happened to make it bad. Just another day alone trying to stay positive. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 I did my best to not lose my cool tonight. There was so much I wanted to say but I held back and I am glad I did. I am trying so hard to be a better person now and maybe this was the first step. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 I am ready for what ever test is sent my way today. For some reason I woke in a good mood and I am going to do my best to not let anyone or anything werck it. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 Day almost over and so far nothing has gone wrong. One day down and so many to go. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 And boom here it comes again. It sets in and the tears start. I try to stop it but it builds and builds. God I fck'ing hate my life more and more every day. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 SO hard to be positive when everything in my life is so negative right now. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 As of today no more sadness. Today is a rebirth for me. I have decided to reconnect with my former church from when I was a kid. With this I am putting my life back on track and things will be better. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 Well I am at the time I normally would be getting down but since my rebirth I am still in a good mood and happy. Yeah me Link to comment
Loki71 Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 Well the end of the day and nothing but positive today. I feel like things are finally getting better thanks to me renewd faith. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted March 3, 2009 Author Share Posted March 3, 2009 The sadness is fading fast. I can't believe I am talking to 3 women right now, O.O who would have thought. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 Better and better, Last night I got home and talked to a friend I haven't talked to in weeks. It felt so good to talk again. I went to bed happy, woke up in a good mood. I can't believe how letting go of all the hurt and anger has taken such a weight off me. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 Another good day, Aleah is ok didn't have to have a bunch of dental work done thank you god for that. I made my appt to get my teeth fixed so I am on the road next is DR appt for check up. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Took the kids to ZDT's yesterday. So much fun. All the games you can play all day for just 18.00 per person. Then we went to chili's for lunch. We were so tired by the time we got home. It was great to see the kids smile and have fun. Me and Aleah rode the go carts. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Why does she have to do this? Can't she see I have let go and I don't care anymore? She can go out with who ever she wants. I'm not "in love" with her anymore. She should know she killed the love I had for her. I am happy and she is not going to wreck that, I won't let her. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Since my change and rebirth I have had one relaps. I am doing so good still I can't believe it. I do miss a very good friend that I hardly ever get to talk to anymore but other than that life seems to be getting so much better. Almost makes me feel like maybe my time is drawing near lol. Link to comment
.thumb.jpeg.44db4c04df92b9d233296a0149430b4d.jpeg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.