how old is too old

[thistime]

i am 38, and I have an 11 1/2 yr old daughter. my bf has no children, and i know he wants one someday becasue we have talked about it, but he moves very slow in a relationship, and honestly, i doubt we would even be married a year or two from now, and i guess my question is...if he and I dont get married for 2 or more years, I will be over 40, and not have had a child for 14 years. Is it dumb of me to think this is possible? will it be safe/ I guess i am fearful of birth defects, and the fact that i wont be able to run after a toddler like I did when I was 28! What if he and I wait and then we cant, or the risks are too high/ i'm afraid he will resent me for not being able to give hima child...

[shikashika]

My aunts and several friends have had happy healthy children after the age of 40. I think it's a lot more common now.

[nurse1986]

You can still have children. You're still young.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

Of course there is a chance you might not be able to get pregnant. But there is also that chance in a 25 year old or a 30 year old. How is your body -- is it young and well taken care of? Are you healthy?

 

Another question might be - have you talked to your bf about this? About the realities of fertility? Perhaps you might be surprised by his answers. And adoption is an option too.

 

Good luck!

[Anna.]

Talk to him openly and honestly about it and see how he feels and what you both want.

 

Personally, I think it's fine. If you can and want to conceive, more power to you.