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Where Do I Go From Here?

NowandZen

By NowandZen
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NowandZen Community Regular

NowandZen

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I suppose I have gathered all the knowledge I need to make a decision. I've put it off long enough. It's pretty simple really.

 

Do I take the path that is difficult, but ultimately leads to peace, or do I take the easy road, that will ultimately lead to suffering? Is it even possible to walk in between, or is that just insane?

 

Part of the issue is I never realized I had the choice. When I thought there was only one path, all I had to do was keep slogging up it. Hmmm

 

Enlightenment isn't for wimps.

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livinginsbi Contributor

livinginsbi

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well they say the road to happiness is not an easy one. I have no idea what decision you need to make... but the one I've put off for months, if not years, has been made and overall I'm a happier person, even though there are days I wonder if I made the correct choice... but they are getting fewer and farther between.

 

Somtimes you make the right decision and sometimes you make the decision right.

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livinginsbi Contributor

livinginsbi

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I suppose you need to decide what will make you happy. When contemplating this divorce... I had to lay all the problems down on the table... the issues with staying together and the issues of breaking up... as each have their own negatives... then by careful guestimation... decide which set of negatives I can live a peaceful, happy existence with - and THEN hope I'm right.

 

The line walking thing... for me, I would be too pensive about it all - afraid of falling one way or the other... or be pushed... and not able to even make my own decision. That's where I got with my job... no way of knowing what the outcome will be... but at least now I have the satisfaction of being in charge of my future and my career and not leaving it up to those who don't have the same interest in it, as I do.

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NowandZen Community Regular

NowandZen

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Do you know what it is your are looking for to give you peace? Peace like happiness, I believe has to come from within.. if you are speaking of inner peace, the feeling of contentness. What about these things hinders your peace?

 

Glad you asked. It forces me to walk through it. I'm thinking of peace, like enlightenment - one definition of which is the end of suffering.

 

Ok, so attachment leads to suffering. I am convinced of that. It is the nature of life to be changing. I will lose everything I am attached to sooner or later. Even if they aren't gone forever, the nature of those things will change. It's like how the person you are married to is NOT the same person she was 20 years ago. Nor am I the same person. So no matter what, my attachment will lead to suffering, when I can no longer have those things.

 

But the attachment is strong. I listed those things because I think that is all I am TRULY attached to. These are the things that, without which, I will suffer. To detach from those things will not be easy.

 

Don't get me wrong, by detach, I don't mean divorce, disowning my children, moving, quitting my job, going celibate and silent. What I mean is to be in a place where I don't NEED those things, just accept them for what they are, when they are.

 

For example, if I don't NEED my job, and I am fired, or we go out of business, I won't suffer when it happens. (Realistically, I think I can stay here until retirement, but that is an end)

 

So yes, it's all internal. I think you might understand it better than I.

 

So, do I have the intestinal fortitude to detach? Do I want to just trade my peace for the attachment? Or do I make the devil's bargain and try to get by with as little attachment as possible?

 

Keep in mind also, that I have thrown some of my old attachments overboard:

 

The Need to be Right

The Need for Approval

The Need for Justice

 

But they were easy compared to my list.

 

Am I making sense?

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NowandZen Community Regular

NowandZen

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Isn't accepting these things as part of life and human nature the first step towards not feeling in shock/scared/depressed when these things end? I mean everyone has to go through it at some point. Nothing lasts for-ever.

 

Sounds like you need a new hobby or something. Buy a sports car. Lol.

 

Another attachment? LOL

 

Yes everyone has to lose things. Not everyone has to suffer as a result of the loss.

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Perfect Dark Enthusiast

Perfect Dark

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Another attachment? LOL

 

Yes everyone has to lose things. Not everyone has to suffer as a result of the loss.

 

LOL!

 

So are you getting prepared for when you lose something? I don't think you should worry about WHEN losing something happens, like you said live each day as it comes.

 

This is really deep for me so I'm sorry if this makes no sense to ya.

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NowandZen Community Regular

NowandZen

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LOL!

 

So are you getting prepared for when you lose something? I don't think you should worry about WHEN losing something happens, like you said live each day as it comes.

 

This is really deep for me so I'm sorry if this makes no sense to ya.

 

You are thinking about the things I have considered.

 

I'm not really worried. I have a KNOWING that all things will end. The question is whether I want to accept the suffering that comes with attachment, or to live my life without attachment so that I will not suffer.

 

They are both valid ways to live.

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Perfect Dark Enthusiast

Perfect Dark

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You are thinking about the things I have considered.

 

I'm not really worried. I have a KNOWING that all things will end. The question is whether I want to accept the suffering that comes with attachment, or to live my life without attachment so that I will not suffer.

 

They are both valid ways to live.

 

You have to accept the suffering that comes with it I think, you wont know how you will react when the things you're attached to ends, that's the funny thing about life.

 

I don't think it would be a good thing for you to worry about all of this.

 

Everyone needs an attachment. You wanna be a Buddist Monk?

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NowandZen Community Regular

NowandZen

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You have to accept the suffering that comes with it I think, you wont know how you will react when the things you're attached to ends, that's the funny thing about life.

 

I don't think it would be a good thing for you to worry about all of this.

 

Everyone needs an attachment. You wanna be a Buddist Monk?

 

I think we may have different ideas about attachment. There is a difference in enjoying something and NEEDING something.

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NowandZen Community Regular

NowandZen

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So would you like to live life without any attachments so you don't suffer when you lose something?

 

That's the question I am considering right now. To live without attachment is to enjoy everything on its own terms, at every moment. Without attachment, there's no need to worry about when it will end, because I would only be concerned with the moment.

 

Simple, but not easy. Like most people in the Western world, I have become attached, and don't know how to live my life any other way. The benefits are fantastic, but the road is long and difficult.

 

And don't say you aren't helping. Everything you bring up helps with MY understanding.

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Perfect Dark Enthusiast

Perfect Dark

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=]

 

I don't think I could live without any attachments, it doesn't matter what it is; everyone needs a stimulation. The western world is too materialistic, but think back to hundreds of years ago when there wasn't any T.V, Internet etc, how did they enjoy themselves? People then 'seemed' happier in those days, I reckon.

 

Imagine you were locked in a room with NOTHING, what enjoyment would you get from no attachments then?

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Perfect Dark Enthusiast

Perfect Dark

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Some problems with seeking enlightenment:

 

No teachers in my area - I'd be on my own

Many attachments to work through

Addiction to sensate pleasures

Physical stress usually leads to abandoning my goals

 

You're your own teacher. Can you find a group in your area? Online?

 

I wish you the best of luck. =]

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NowandZen Community Regular

NowandZen

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I think I have made a decision. I should have seen it before, but the old Type A personality resurfaced and made something simple more complex than necessary. The ego did not want me to go here. It tried to frame it in black/white and yes/no.

 

N&Z, you are NOT a perfect being. Why did you think you needed to be. Everything was there, waiting for you to have UNDERSTANDING.

 

I get it now.

 

I will REACH for enlightenment. It may be that I never achieve perfect enlightenment. So what, that doesn't mean that I can try to bring as much into my life as possible.

 

Service man, service. Help others, and I will benefit more than I can ever know. But remember how you resisted. Remember how the ego fought and nearly won. Why should others be different.

 

N&Z - Namaste Ego, you're outta here.

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NowandZen Community Regular

NowandZen

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I changed my avy. The old one was a joke that only one person got (so far as I know). This one is sunrise. At least that is how it was labeled. It could be a sunset. This is also cool, b/c it fits my mood. All things balance. You can't see it all the time, but it's there.

 

In sunrise is the seed of sunset. In sunset is the seed of sunrise.

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IndigoEye Newbie

IndigoEye

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Some problems with seeking enlightenment

 

No teachers in my area - I'd be on my own

Remember, many answers come from within. I was just wondering if there are on-line workshops. I think that would be beneficial for teachers and students alike. (To whatever degree it could be possible.)

 

Many attachments to work through

How do you define "attachment"? I mean to what level of want/need do you apply to this term?

 

Addiction to sensate pleasures

Physical stress usually leads to abandoning my goals

(Don't get this second part.)

Remember the allegory of "The Tortoise and the Hare". Life is a process. Maybe continue with baby steps all the way rather than a giant step. "Nothing in excess". Perhaps somewhat more ascetic before full-blown enlightenment?

 

I don't seek enlightenment, myself. Just a constant Divine connection. (Have to stop there on that as I think my next statement gets too "religious" for the board. Peaceable, but probably too much. Not sure.)

I think the suffering is part of why we are here. I figure I'm here to learn, love, give, create, and enjoy; and that the suffering is part of the method for learning. I know I was a moron until chronic illness set in. Best thing that ever happened to me. The ratio of suffering to learning was very attractive. And while I do suffer what was once not there before, I am so much happier now simply having a clue. You understand the purpose of suffering. On the other hand, I now understand "Ignorance is bliss." so well.

So the question becomes, "Are you a true seeker or not?" You just don't have to go so far so fast.

 

"I will not give you more than you can handle in one day." I've been guilty for some time of crossing this line, when so unnecessary. And that can kill you.

 

So your issues posed bring me to a new axiom for myself: "Be not embarrassed nor obsessed with some attachment." Which is like "Nothing in excess.", just more specific, which may be beneficial.

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