When do you know when to break up... what's the line

[mskc0511]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and lately he and I have been going thorugh alot of conflicts. Valentines day weekend was great however there is always something that kills the moment. He told me something that deals with educational career that did not necissarily make me happy, however, I tried to be supportive and not get upset. But the naxt day I began to think about the things that he said and what could happen in the future. Those things would not be so great. Even though he tries to make me happy there is always something that I am not happy with about him. He is tired of it and so am I ....but what am I supposed to do...I know I should stop but I cant stop thinking about the negatives even if I try. Is breaking up is all that is left.

 

Thanks Appreciate It!!!

[Fennejir]

removed

[kungfumaster]

Yo mk,

 

I totally agree with what Fennejir is saying.

 

Let me give you the guys perspective - I mean, you were totally in my ex-girlfriend's position 2 months ago - but she was a bit older (not too much though), but nonetheless, I think she felt the same way (this is of course assuming that what you mean by "educational career" is that he has to move somewhere away from you for school or an "educational" type job).

 

I had basically moved to another city after we had been together for 2 years. I had to move because of my "educational career" - I couldn't pass up this oppurtunity because it was the only place that accepted me (the 30 others rejected me). Like you, my ex-girlfriend was trying to be supportive too, and I love her for that - but in the end, I think it became too much for her. It was really hard for me too to be away from her, but I think it was harder for her. Although I came back every month to see her for 4-5 days, something had changed inside her - on top of that, we had other issues - so the distance + issues just led to the downfall of our relationship.

 

From my perspective, looking back, now that I've healed a little (it's been approx. 1.5 months since we've had contact, and 2 months since she's broken up with me), I couldn't have asked for anything more than what she could give. From your post, I think you were feeling the same way my ex was feeling too - it was just getting too hard for her even though I would always try to comfort her and make her happy and look at the brighter side of things. I think in the end, she loved me alot, but she couldn't handle it anymore - the uncertain future, the distance, etc...

 

I wish that my ex had more faith in me and our relationship - I wish she could have been stronger like me - I wish she would have just given me more of a chance, and more time for me to try to find another job closer to her. But that is my perspective - but you know what mskc -I know for sure that my ex really tried hard to make it work too, but in the end, that was all she could give - so, of course I am sad, dissappointed, hurt, mad, angry, etc... (I probably haven't covered even 1% of the emotions I've felt since our break up) - but in the end, and even now, there is a little voice in my head and heart saying - "thank you for trying your best" though - thank you for trying.

 

So, I'm sure I speak for your boyfriend, when I ask you - please, give him a try (unless you know for sure you do not think you want to marry him or be with him for the rest of your life). Give him a chance, have faith in him and your relationship. Have faith in yourself too. Plus, if he leaves, it will give you more time to yourself - more time to do the stuff you've always wanted to do, but didn't have a chance while your boyfriend was around - like some hobby or something, meet some new friends, etc. But if you really love him (as I know my ex- did), you should give him and your relationship a chance. Hey - you're 19!! you shouldn't think so seriously about this - just love him as you usually do - have fun - life is too short to think about what is going to happen if ... should I break him... because to be honest mskc - although I'm not sure what's going to happen in your situation, I cherish every momment I had with my ex - even though she broke up with me (of course I'm mad very often, and still am) - but I know in my heart that we both loved each other as best as we could - and I can't ask anymore of myself or her at this momment.

 

God bless mskc - and good luck

[Moveforward]

I checked this discussion thread because it has a similar theme as what I am going through. I agree with the previous responses - they really make sense to me. Unfortunately, with my history of relationships take that with a grain of salt.

 

I am struggling with a similar issue on when to know enough is enough. I've already had excellent inout from AVMAN, but If any of the responders to this thread would care to read mine and offer your opinions I would be honored and appreciative. (It's in the same category as this one, I assume you can find it on my username)

 

Thanks!