GF is on a dating website w/o letting me know

[Lost_Prince1010]

Hi, I was recently confused when I discovered my GF of a few months which i also met online thru an online dating site is Still on an online dating site. She's not on the same site which I met her thru, that one she did close down, however I found out that she's on a different one which she never told or discussed with me about. On the site she does mention she has a Boyfriend and I noticed she checks her site a couple times a week. Is this any cause for alarm and what actions should I take? She's already introduced me to her family and seems to have integrated me into her family and they seem to like me a lot, so at least thats a good sign. Im still confused though why she's out trying to meet new guys on a dating website.... Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated, thanks in advance.

[confused79]

i'm finding myself in many similar situations today on this site. i found my boyfriend or guy i'm dating, we haven't had any talk about that after 6 months. i recently had an urge to look to see if he was still online after how he met his ex, my ex roommate(long story) he was but changed his name and said that he just said it was cheap to leave it on and doesn't really talk to the people, he doesn't have a pic on or anything. in our short couple of weeks break 3 months in i posted mine. i don't use it anymore but just curious if i'd get responses...i guess an ego thing and maybe considering i dont knwo how serious i think he is i was keeping my options open. i'm wondering myself if i should worry about him though. he did find me online though and jokingly sent me messages. and i did cancel my subscription telling him that he didn't need to be on there anyway. i don't know if this helps at all but you're not in this situation alone

[Lost_Prince1010]

I did notice that she recently changed her profile status from DATING to "in a committed relationship" about a week or 2 ago, even though we'be been committed for a few months now. That could have been an oversight perhaps. Also noticed that the guys she is responding too arent all local guys, most are far away. Just the fact that she's doing it without telling me is to me really shady and makes it hard for me to trust her. I have a difficult time trusting people to begin with. I find it odd how she canceled the profile on the site I met her thru, but left this profile on a completely different website going.

[Superfly81]

You don't know how old that posting is... +; maybe she's looking for a backup, just in case. You can't blame her, since this is not personal. Maybe she has been hurt a lot in the past and doesn't want to 'fall in a black hole' (don't know if that's even a sentence in english) and want to know other guys right from the start.

 

+, girls love to know how attractive they are and this is a legal way to find out!

[boxcar1134]

have you tried talking to her about it? i have been dating my boyfriend for a year and i still have a profile in several different places. they all say that i am in a "long term relationship". i mainly kept those profiles because i like meeting new people and making friends. my boyfriend knows about them and trusts me. maybe she believes that you trust her and is just trying to make friends. if it bothers you extremely you should just talk to her about it. the way to solve any problem is just talking it through.

 

 

 

 

[P-Frenchie]

Superfly... you are so far off. That behavior is in no way acceptable. How would you like it if your b/f was looking up girls' personal ads while you were in a commited relationship. If this is the attitude you truly believe in and you behave in a similar way, you don't deserve to be in a commited relationship.

[Lost_Prince1010]

Well, i know that her dating profile PRE-dates her and I and that she has only RECENTLY changed her status on the site from DATING to IN A RELATIONSHIP, even though we've been an official couple for longer then that. I also know she regularly checks it like once or twice a week. Even if she claims to be on there for only making NEW friends, I dont feel it is in the best interest for a long term relationship. For example when you're at a restaurant and keep examining the menu, sooner or later you may question what you want, and then become confused. Why can't that example somewhat apply to a couple? Also the fact that she never mentioned this particular profile to me, but canceled the one she knows that I know of on a different website since I met her thru that canceled one, makes me wonder whats really going on in her mind? Anyhow, I appreciate all input and different takes on my situation, male and female. Thanks again.

[hello2u]

I've done the online dating thing off and on for about a year now. I have dated several women just once or twice. I dated 2 women on a long term basis. I also met my girlfriend with my personals ad. Okay now I'll break it down for you... The once or twice women didn't matter so the personal ad stayed online. The women that I dated long term were just for dating and sex. So the ad still stayed online because I was eventually looking for more than sex. I met someone special that I clicked with and she became my GIRLFRIEND! The ad came down immediately when she became my girlfriend because I started to care for her and didn't need to meet anyone else PERIOD! If someone has a personals ad while having a girlfriend or boyfriend that means they are looking to meet someone. If they have self-esteem issues and just want to see what kind of response they get, then it is likely that they will cheat anyway whether they meet someone online or at the mall. My advice is leave before she hurts you. There are plenty of women out there that are confident enough to stay with one man and don't need self-assurance from other men.