A question of friends or just looking for an answer?

[colly]

Hi everyone. You might rememeber, but let me remind you of my situation.

 

I am now single as of last week

 

I was with the girl for 2 years then we broke up in which time (about 2 weeks 2 my knowledge) she ended up with my best friend. The person i had been confiding in about the break up.

 

Last year, we got talking and i was told how she regretted it and always had. I am not sure if it was a case of the grass not being greener but, having thought about her for the entire year, took her back and she left him.

 

Now, for whatever reasons we have split up again 1 year later...

 

 

 

But here is my problem. Most of my friends have now moved on while i was with her. I do however, have one friend who has been by me for a long while. But he lives away and recently, she went to stay down with him as she was looking at her new place to live next year and staying there to look around for a weekend.

 

However, she did not seem to keen on wanting me there ( i am upset she is moving and she seems to think that by keeping me out of the way it will save hurting more)

 

Now, let me say, i trust this guy 100% i think! But after the last instance i am naturally weary.

 

Now we are broken up however, she seems to be calling and texting him alot. Like he was down the other day and she was textgin him asking him if he was coming to see her and stuff - which he would never normally do in any case.

 

I feel sorry for him, he has been very supportive and helpful to me. We have talked about the fact that i think she likes him and he said his friends have made similar comments to him.

 

I feel like telling her to back off because she is going to do the same thing to me again. She has lots of friends and i have only this one. But i know i cannot say anything like this.

 

 

Its just now, she seems to call him more than she ever called me.

 

 

Is she looking for attention as i am no longer around her? Or is she trying to get him.

 

People, i dont really have anyone else, and it makes it very awkward for him and me. I just want her to leave me this one person.

 

AM i being paranoid and just looking for an excuse?

 

colly

[The Morrigan]

How would he feel about it if she DID like him? If there's no real interest on his side - there's really not a problem, since she'll move on once she sees her interest beyond friendship isn't being returned.

 

Maybe you should talk to your friend some more and tell him what you're worried about - it might help if he could give you some assurance that no matter what, he considers you his friend and isn't going to change that for a girl. Any girl can change the dynamics of a friendship because of the amount of time that has to be rearranged - but it doesn't have to be a choice between one or the other, it just takes some effort to make sure the friendship stays solid.

[colly]

He says that if there is anything then it wont be coming from him and his feelings are not mutual. It is reassuring but like i say i am nervous since this has happened before with this girl.

 

He says he values our friendship more than he does hers.

 

My issue is moreso that she wont seem to back of which is making it hard for him as he is stuck in the middle of us both and if as i suspect, she does like him, it makes it very hard indeed.

 

She has lots of close friends and i dont see why she cant just leave me atleast one.

 

He is not a flirty guy, but he is everyones friend and understanding and caring and i think she is getting confused over signals