To be Friends or not

[mlchildr]

I broke up with my boyfriend 12 days ago. After I did it I regretted it so much. We had been arguing a lot over stupid stuff and I just couldn't take it anymore. I realize now that we should of talked about things between us sooner. We have threatened each other before with breaking up but never did it. The day after the break up we sat down and talked becasue I wanted him back so bad. He said that he had shut his feelings and emotions down for me He loved me but was not in love with me. We then proceeded to have sex that evening...... so many mixed signals. I tried the no contact rule but couldn't do it. We decided to be friends and are sopouse to sit down and talk on how this will work. I get the feeling that when I call him that I am bothering him but he is saying that he just wants to distance himself. He also says that he has never been friends with an x before ......i am just wondering why he wants to stay friends with me. I want to stay friends with him becasue I am still deeply in love with him. He has some items at my house and i asked him when he was going to get them... he acted like no big deal. My friends say this is a way for him to keep a door open to get back in my life and by staying friends. If this is true why can't we just work out our problems and be together. I feel that I have taken responsibility for my failing part of the relationship. He said that I was verbally abusive to him so I have decided to take some anger management classes. He says that maybe down the road we can get back together but not for now. Should I stay friends with him and or should i give myself some space to get over him.

[Teal]

Don't even bother with staying friends. Not at least for now. You need to mend things for yourse'f. Everything happens for a reason, so just be patient, but keep your distance. In life, relationships will come and go. So there's no use of worrying about whether or not to keep a relationship that's all ready gone sour.

[bellanoir]

I would keep your options open. Don't rule him out as a possibility in the future, but it sounds like he's trying to distance himself from you because he was hurt. He wants to be friends because he cares about you, and he may truly want to get back together with you in the future, but wants the wound from your last breakup to heal first. Or maybe he's looking around at other possibilities at the moment, as well. In a way, the breach of trust is broken in a relationship when one person breaks things off. It takes time to rebuild the trust.

 

So I'd definitely try to work on rebuilding that trust, but keep your options open for other guys. You could stumble accross someone better during this period.