dreamer888 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 My boyfriend and i have been officially done talking/seeing each other for a week now (new years eve moring was the last time i saw him) and i just miss him SO much. And i know the whole NC thing is to help move on and get over him...but i'm afraid that if i do NC he;ll find a new girl. I just miss him so much and LITERALLY...think about him ALL day EVERY day and i just KNOW i'm the ast thing on his mind. when i try to communicate with him, he ignores me. I shouldn't even be this messed up over this guy though because everyone says i can "do better" and that he "didn't deserve" me....but fact of the matter is...to me, he was WODNERFUL and still is. He fell out of love with me and says he really tried to love me again and just couldn't...and that's why i KNOW it's over...but i just can't get over HIM. I hate this. I love him so much and just don't know waht to do. Please, any advice to get over someone you know will NEVER come back...i would greatly appreciate it...ANYTHING. I am so lost and hurt and confused. And even thoguh he was out of love and stuff, we still hung out...and he still expected me to come see him every night for the next two weeks, until I said that we should not see each other as much...and he said fro a month...i didn't mean for a MONTH. But he is holding to it...won't talk to me, nothing. What should i do?! Is there EVER a chance of getting back together after that? Link to comment
Adge Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Looks like the no contact option is the ONLY option here. I am having to do a similar thing at the moment and it's dreadfully tough. Hang in there girl. He might swing round if you leave him alone for a bit and let him gather his thoughts!! Link to comment
lauramed Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 If he's ignoring your attempts to communicate, no contact is the only option. I'm going through the same thing right now. 26 days and I'll be honest, this week has been an extremely tough week for me. I did the same thing as you and tried to call him and got no response. If someone doesn't want to talk to you, you'll only push them further away by trying to keep communicating. My advice for you is to keep posting your thoughts....there are a lot of great people here to support you. By doing this, it has kept me strong and helped me through some really rough days...it always helps to have people support you who are going through the same thing. So hang in there. Link to comment
agatha Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 brace yourself, dear, and stay away from the phone. give him the space, and give yourself the space. real love is something that can change, but doesn't vanish. and one thing you learn after sometime is that if everybody (your closest friends, those that know you best) says that guy is not good enough for you, believe them. I learned that the hardest way possible. and had a chance after to learn that there are men out there that actually are good enough : ) (btw, in the mean time I'd like to suggest you the "he's just not that into you". it's a great book with sweet ways of making us realize bitter truths - no, I didn't earn a penny for this) good luck, girl ^^ Link to comment
dreamer888 Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 so an update... the day i posted this...he actually texted me asking if i wanted to come watch a movie. we had gone a whole day without me trying to text him, communicate, anything. of course, i took the offer. we hung out that night and the next night. unfortunately, we hooked up which i KNOW i should NOT have done but is so hard to resist when you truly feel like youre still "making love" to them versus just hooking up. WELL, found out that when we broke up two months ago (thats when we actually lost our title of "bf/gf") he had gone to see his ex gf, they have been broken up for about three years now and she is married, BUT she also was the ONLY girl that he ever was reallllly messed up about when SHE left HIM. So, it still makes me wonder. of course he his this from me for two months and it only came out last night bc when we were hanging out she texted him....randomly. Well, of course i kinda freaked out and so he told me he WASN'T OVER ME just to "CALM ME DOWN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This morning, through text, he told me he WAS over me and only told me he wasnt to calm me down. he has no idea what that did to me. it gave me hope then tore me right back down. well, now i know we will NEVER be together and there is absolutely NOTHING i can do about it. i have been talking to my mother and one of my best friends about him, and still, they say that i am doing myself a FAVOR by not getting back with someone who CAN just get over you and go back to their ex so fast like that. And i know they are right. It still just breaks your heart to know that they just don't care and that they did something knowing it was going to hurt you simply bc THEY wanted to. But, like they said....if anything ever got serious with us, i couldn't live with the fear of my true love sneaking off behind my back to see his ex. Link to comment
Adge Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Seems like you're taking the first tentative steps to get over this guy. Don't bother trying to communicate with him, he sounds like a plonker. Link to comment
dreamer888 Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 Adge: youre right. he is a plonker. he at first became attracted to me bc i physically reminded him of this ex...then when we break up he goes to see her. even when she's married with a girl. sounds like he has something he needs to get over. so, i guess i don't need to worry about getting back with him and just focus on healing...it's gonna be a long, hard road... Link to comment
agatha Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 and the best part of that road is arriving at 'pure bliss', looking back and being proud of what you did for yourself. I'm sorry for what happened to you, but wish you the best of lucks ^^ Link to comment
Adge Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 ...it's gonna be a long, hard road... I'm travelling it with you. Trust me! Link to comment
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