Oops- I did it again.

[ljoy74]

I call you Broha because you're like my big brother. You told me you felt ALOT more for me and I turned you down because I cannot change- or worse off, lose- the relationship I have with you. When others ask about why we spend so much time together I say its because we're just good friends, and we are good friends. But I also say I'm not physically attracted to you and for a while it was true. But the tables are turning.

 

YOU WERE RIGHT.

 

Here I am, changing my mind. I do want to wait and see what else is out there but I'm not sure if it can beat what we have. My face hurts after days and nights spent with you because I'm smiling and laughing the whole time. You were there, although distantly, for me when I had my heart so brutally broken and now you don't even know how much better you have made it. You remind me of how beautiful you think I am and you may tease me about my crappy dating record but it is out of love and probably to show me I could be doing better, and I could be doing better with you.

 

My friends can't see us dating and I'm not sure I can either. But I'd like to. The physical part of us isn't there at all in my mind but it could be if things keep going like they are. I am to scared to admit this to anyone. But I do like you. That's why I stopped calling you Broha to your face a few weeks ago. I don't want you to be like my Broha anymore. You're there for me as so much more. We have so much in common. I'd be devastated to lose you. I can't think about how heartbroken I'd be to see you start dating someone else and leave me here alone. It all sounds so selfish but I want to be with you. I want to try us. I CHANGED MY MIND, YOU WERE RIGHT.

 

But I can't seem to tell you any of this... I hope my subtle hints will show. And maybe one day, if it's not to late, you'll ask me how I feel about you. And if you ask I will tell you honestly. So I'm handing you and I over to Time. Only Time will tell if we're meant to be together. If Time comes and goes then it wasn't right and the feelings we had for each other just never matched up. But here I am, falling. So please, catch me.

 

Stop Time and catch me.