What's the difference between common open-ended

[sarsapolis6]

questions to ask a woman vs. the "riveting questions" that are really designed for a bar, club, or a real romantic date situation?

 

I feel that I need to be more creative, and ask risky questions (without politics or religion) or deep questions which will allow me or her to really find out what makes each of us tick. Our true thoughts and opinions.

 

These are the questions I've thought of so far...and they're good but they're plain:

~What was it like growing up?

~How did you get into your current career?

~What is your favorite part of the day and why?

~What area of the world would you like to live in?

~What do you think of sports?

~If you won a million dollars in the lottery, how would you spend it?

~What places have you visited?

~How do you like to spend your weekends?

~What are some of your favorite movies?

~How do you feel about pets?

Thanks

[laisla]

they sound like the questions that dating websites have for member's profiles. i never know what to say in them....put a twist to them like this guy did, in this thread ( )

 

here are the helpful posts:

 

 

 

[MyheartorHis]

I love a guy who can just talk... not about themselves or ask me about my job, my family, or anything that I have to think about day to day. Ask something original... Let your mind just freely think, what would seem the most interesting to you in the moment. It will all depend on the girl. Anything rehearsed is NO GOOD (in my opinion)...

[thejigsup]

Please stay away from prepared questions.

[LBP]

I have an attractive female friend who was at a party for New Years and was solicited by a man with several questions. He asked her about her political priorities and whether or not she had ever experienced heartbreak. Then, he requested that she make a gesture which I can only equate to the priest heart-removal scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. If it was his intention to weird her out, well played. If his hope was to one day see her again, not so much.

 

That said, when I met my current girlfriend, one of the first things I did was ask her 'What are you passionate about?' We wound up spending the night together and have been dating ever since. So, it can work, but it's better to just play it by ear, I think. The question I used seemed like a good one for getting to know a person.

[Imprecision]

When first meeting a girl, it's more important to talk than to ask questions. The girl is not yet warmed up to you. She hasn't decided yet whether she likes you enough to share her feelings with you. At this point, you should just take turns telling stories.

 

There's an old 90/10 rule - meaning that during the first five minutes of meeting a girl, you should talk 90 percent of the time, while she talks 10 percent. This way, she gets a sense of who you are, and warms up to you.

 

After the girl is comfortable with you, you can start asking questions. Usually, banal questions about travelling and life-passions are good. These questions help you test the water. Once you discover her interests - remember to observe her reactions while talking (e.g. a topic she's especially excited to talk about) - just talk about those interests.

 

Different people will always have different styles and strategies. ConfusedDater's ideas (from La'isla's post) are good. I used to do the same thing a few years ago. However, these days, I rely on topics like romance, literature, poetry, travelling, adventures, magic, flowers, beautiful things, etc. Virtually all girls are interested in these topics - especially when you use them as ways to share values and feelings. So if you have a good grasp on artsy things, then just do that.

[sarsapolis6]

I think you might have something there with the 90/10 rule. I haven't heard of this method before, but I think it makes sense.

 

Throughout my various experiences, I've felt that women WANT ME to open up (talk) more than them.

 

Here's a couple of reasons why...I'm not a hot looking guy. I wear glasses and I'm currently of average build. Maybe in a ways I have to "prove" to these women that I'm more than just some average nerdish-looking guy.

And so that's why it's probably beneficial to start talking more.

 

But WHAT SHOULD I TALK ABOUT? You've relied on literature, romance, poetry, and I honestly don't have the interest to talk about that. Is there something more middle of the road? I've found that TV shows such as Top Chef works.

 

Next, HOW SHOULD I TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS? Imprecision, if you were meeting a woman at a social event for the first time...would you primarily mention your opinions (big or small) about literature, romance, etc.

Or would you self disclose something about yourself first? Something you've recently experienced? Talk a little about the frustrations at your job? (to keep it interesting)

 

The biggest risk I see with the 90/10 rule is that if I self disclose some things about myself, she will not be interested.

[leo73]

The questions you ask are relative to the situation. Where are you meeting them? What's the atmosphere? Is she alone or with friends? Think about where you are at and strike up a conversation that is appropriate to the surroundings.

 

That being said, I always like to approach women with things I think they can help me with;

This works just about anywhere: "I just can't seem to figure out how to send my friend a text message on my new phone. Do you think you could help me?"

This works in a coffee house: "I'm trying to stay away from too much fat in my diet and I don't know which one has more fat, 1/2 & 1/2 or regular milk?"

 

This breaks the ice and starts things off on a casual tone. Always keep the conversation casual at the first meeting. She'll read the other things in your body language, tone of voice, and personal appearance. That's why they are so quiet at first..they're analyzing.

[servedcold]

Don't ask any of those questions you have listed. Let her guidance counselor and the chumpy frat boys put her to sleep with those.

 

Make up stuff on the fly. Pick up something and start talking about what color it is and its texture (can be a pencil or an ashtray), hand it to her, ask her if her primary sense is hearing, sight, smell or taste. If she says smell, ask her how you smell and lean in close so she can smell you. If she says taste, ask her if she were any place in the world what would she be eating right now, to close her eyes and describe it to you and see if you can guess what it is. If she says hearing, ask her which ear is more sensitive, whisper in both to find out.

 

Ask her to read your palms and offer to pay her for it. If she balks, tell her your normal palmreader charges $20, but is never right, and you think she might be able to do a better job for less money. If she says how much, offer her a penny and tell her you will double it for everything she gets right during the reading.

 

None of the above are lines. I made them all up while typing this to give you an idea of the type of things that women respond to in conversation with guys they are getting to know. Involve their senses and emotions, give them the opportunity to get close to you and get comfortable touching you. Be fun and interesting.

 

Having some stock stories does work, make sure they are suspenseful and emotionally charged. All people love a good story teller.

[laisla]

Make up stuff on the fly. Pick up something and start talking about what color it is and its texture (can be a pencil or an ashtray), hand it to her, ask her if her primary sense is hearing, sight, smell or taste. If she says smell, ask her how you smell and lean in close so she can smell you. If she says taste, ask her if she were any place in the world what would she be eating right now, to close her eyes and describe it to you and see if you can guess what it is. If she says hearing, ask her which ear is more sensitive, whisper in both to find out.

 

that is weird.

 

Ask her to read your palms and offer to pay her for it. If she balks, tell her your normal palmreader charges $20, but is never right, and you think she might be able to do a better job for less money. If she says how much, offer her a penny and tell her you will double it for everything she gets right during the reading.

too many guys do the palm reading thing.

[servedcold]

too many guys do the palm reading thing.

 

I wasn't aware of that. You mean lots of men ask to read your palms? How many men have offered to read your palms lately? Were they good palmreaders? But how many ask you to read their palms and offer to pay you for it like I did, not quite the same is it? You see, I'm a crappy palm reader, and think it would be dishonest to read palms, but you look kind of psychic, so I'm willing to pay you to read my palms.

 

You must have very interesting palms, though, to have so many men wanting to read them. May I see them? Hmm, I think my palms are more interesting than yours. Tell you what, let's have our palms read and whoever has the less interesting fortune has to buy the next round. You can pick who does the readings.

[LBP]

I wasn't aware of that. You mean lots of men ask to read your palms? How many men have offered to read your palms lately? Were they good palmreaders? But how many ask you to read their palms and offer to pay you for it like I did, not quite the same is it? You see, I'm a crappy palm reader, and think it would be dishonest to read palms, but you look kind of psychic, so I'm willing to pay you to read my palms.

 

You must have very interesting palms, though, to have so many men wanting to read them. May I see them? Hmm, I think my palms are more interesting than yours. Tell you what, let's have our palms read and whoever has the less interesting fortune has to buy the next round. You can pick who does the readings.

 

I want to have sex with you.

[Lights]

I agree w/ staying away from prepared questions. Even if you play it off cool, they end up sounding like interview questions. And I, for one, have always enjoyed a relaxed conversation more than an interview.

[servedcold]

I want to have sex with you.

 

See la'isla it works!

[laisla]

I wasn't aware of that. You mean lots of men ask to read your palms? How many men have offered to read your palms lately? Were they good palmreaders? But how many ask you to read their palms and offer to pay you for it like I did, not quite the same is it? You see, I'm a crappy palm reader, and think it would be dishonest to read palms, but you look kind of psychic, so I'm willing to pay you to read my palms.

 

You must have very interesting palms, though, to have so many men wanting to read them. May I see them? Hmm, I think my palms are more interesting than yours. Tell you what, let's have our palms read and whoever has the less interesting fortune has to buy the next round. You can pick who does the readings.

 

a lot of the guys i went on dates with (and people who i know) used that method. it was okay the first time when i was 15 but after that i could tell that it was a common trick. nobody asked lately because i haven't been on dates for almost 2 years (relationship). i am not sure what the rest of your reply is asking for, we're on the internet, you can't read my palms.