very hard to let go but desperately want to.

[lux848]

hi all, thanks for reading. i broke up with my ex 5 months ago. to this day i still want her back. i feel like i have no dignity left. i still call up my ex trying to be the nice guy and ask her out to movies and dinner. she always shuts me down. telling me she doesn't want to date me. pretending to be a good girl by telling me she doesn't want to lead me on.

 

i feel very stupid. even though she cheated on me i told her it's my fault cuz i wasn't a perfect boyfriend. she always blames ME for our relationship problems. To a point i'm starting to believe it was all my fault.

 

but i don't think and don't want to think it was all my fault. i always remembered her parents and siblings birthdays, and got them small gifts here and there. she never bothered to do the same for me. she never got my mom nor my dad even a birthday card. and we dated for 3.5 years.

 

last year when i told her i got into a motorcycle accident. her first response over the phone was a chuckle. as if she thought i deserved it. her explanation for laughing at my misfortune was that she didn't know what else to say.

 

i really want to call her up and tell her off. but she will just deny everything and blame me. i know this because it's happened before. if i tell her she did something wrong she would say i'm trying to hurt her. she always plays the victim role and i always fall for her act.

 

i dont want to blame myself anymore. i think im in denial. I "perceive" her as this perfect innocent girl but in reality she's not. i want to stop fooling myself. how do i do this? i want my dignity back.

 

please help

[Aviatormy]

You have fallen under the typical "we want what we can not have" routine with her.

 

Too many times will people go after the ones that hurt them. We just can not be satisfied with true love. We always have to have a challenge.

 

I don't think that you really love this girl anymore but the challenge that she gives you is what turns you on. The way she belittles you is a form of power that attracts you as much as you hate it.

 

I am sorry you are going through this but those feelings will fade. The best thing for you to do all around is to try your best to go NC with her. I can promise 1 of 2 things will happen, she will start to miss you and contact you or even better, she will not contact you and you will start healing and eventually find someone that deserves you.

 

Hang in there man. I know for a fact that it gets easier with No Contact. I have done it many times.

 

Best wishes and a HAPPY New Year!

[zrehman]

Hey bro

 

Your situation kinda sounds like mine. I was a great bf to my ex and she didn't respect the relationship through her actions when I was not there or when I was there. I used to feel bad for her when she would play the "victim" or turn it around and then I would think its not her fault.

 

Women like that are manipulative and they are the most dangerous! Once they know they have the upper hand, they will do whatever it takes to abuse you emotionally.

 

You need to stop ALL CONTACT with your ex. She tells you that she doesn't want to date you ... so why waste your time trying to get her to date you.

 

My best advice, NC ... give here a taste of her medicine.

 

She thinks you will always be around for her, take that control from her and focus on yourself. Let her come crawling back.

 

Trust me, I'm on DAY 3 of NC and its hard as hell ... I want to call her so bad, but then I just think of all the wrong she did to me. Just have that same mindset ... when you think of good things, force yourself to think of all the bad things she's done to you ... especially the cheating!

 

Cut complete contact from her and move on! Make her beg and call and text and email ... do not respond to her at all! If anything comes up ... post on here of what you should do and we will give you the best advice we can!

 

Good luck!