WHAT TO DO!! ANY ADVICE

[DJHIPHOP]

Well, here's my situation!! well, my girl broke up with me about two weeks ago, and decided to see this other guy!! i have been doing the "no contact" rule and i was wondering if this applies if ur girl is with some other guy! well, also, people have been telling that he's playing her and that when he talks to other girls, he says that he doesnt have a girlfriend, does have time for one, and he said even if i have one, i dont care! should i tell my girl that he's playing her now because if i do it later then its going to mess her up!! or if i tell her shes going to say that im interfering with her life!! any advice, it would help

[Clambert]

You are right... If you tell her she may probably say that you are interfereing in her life, or that you are just saying that because she dumped you and you want her back, even if you do, and if she does say that you should still definitely tell her, If you know that it is absolutely true. Eventually she is going to find out that this guy is cheating on her and although she may not like you for saying it now, she is going to respect you for it later, that may even better your chances of getting back with her. No one ever wants to believe that the person they are with could be unfaithful, i know i would try not to believe it if someone told me that. But, it will put that thought in her head, so she'll be more cautious with her feelings. Hope it works out for you.

[materia_goddess]

yes, you are right. no matter when or HOW you tell her, she wont see the sense in it till she see's it for herself. in anycase you cant hide this from her, so try to suggest it to her in a way that makes her think about it, without tossing it aside as nonsense.

 

Also, make sure your sources are 100% reliable and correct. you dont want to go on the word of a friend of a friend. you MUST be certain. In anycase, this i would see an an exception to the no contact rule, as its not you trying to get back with her or pressurize her in anyway ( i hope!). Dont push conversation past this point though, because she will just see it as some silly plot to get her back. Whether she believes you or not, she will eventually find out about this guy, and then she will really appreciate your honesty.

 

Bestwishes and goodluck

 

*+*Materia_Goddess*+*

[Michael2]

Well you have just heard a girls point of view. Here comes a guys.

 

Listen brother, this girl dumps you, then TWO weeks, did I read that correctly: TWO weeks, she dates another guy ( a dirt bag on top of that). I honestly suggest you do NOT say a word to her about it.

 

She dumped you and is dating another guy. You are obviously not the only one that knows this about her new boyfriend.

 

Word WILL get around that he is playing her, and SHE will find out. But I dont suggest you tell her. You found out, so she definitely will.

 

No contact. Let her learn how great of a guy you were. Make her miss you.

 

You contact her, she will see RIGHT through you. Be honest with yourself. You want to get back with her, and she will see through your intentions. Dont interfere!

 

Why? For one she broke your heart and disrespected your love by dating another guy so quickly. So she will have to learn the hard way.

 

Hang in there!

[rich_1517]

sorry to hear it man. but no this isnt about making her come back right now. its about healing you up and quick, she may come back she may not but you have to plan for not.

 

anything, i mean anything you say right now will fall on deaf ears, your abscense will speak louder than your words. you can even tell her later that you knew and it hurt you a lot to see someone you cared about mistreated but you didnt want to interfere with her choices, but not now, it will only look like meddling.

 

no one can effectively tell you to let go, it only makes you hang on more. so if you really want to hurt yourself and make sure this is out of your system then chase her, tell her the new guy is a jerk, etc. it will magnify your pain to the point that you have to let go. i dont mean to be harsh i am trying to let go myself, the point is that we have to heal up to deal with the world and our exs. its lonely, its painful but you will heal from this. the key is to start.

 

go for walks, hang out with friends, got a hobby? go on casual.

[DJHIPHOP]

well, i was wondering if i tell her now wouldnt it be better since she's barely starting to built feelings for this guy!! because what happens if she falls in love with him, then what? i dont know but i feel like letting her know because my evidence or proof is excellent!! i have internet chats with one of my friends, tape recordings from the phone, etc.

[Clambert]

I see that alot of the males on this site seem to think that you shouldnt tell her....

Now, as a woman, i really do advise that you tell her, Since your proof is so concrete, If she ever were to find out that you knew and didnt tell her that may cause a problem if you want to stay friends or try and reconcile your relationship.

(I am aware that getting back with her may not be your main focus at the moment.)

i do however agree with the no contact rule, after you let her know, if she does overreact like i said earlier, no contact is a good idea, especially when she find out for herself that he is cheating, she'll feel bad for not believeing you, i know i sure would.

[DJHIPHOP]

Im sorry, Clambert, well, i was wondering!! since ur a female, u think that i should tell her? i mean isnt there always sides, though!! i mean if i tell her she can feel happy i guess, or the other side which is that she will be mad or something!! i mean my evidence is awesome!! hey by the way i posted a new topic, hit it up because it tells u exactly what my evidence is okay, and write back to it

[Clambert]

ok yes i definitely thnk you should tell her i stand by that.

there will be sides, she may be mad at you at first, but in the end she will be happy that you told her.