time is short & a tough decision to make

[markii]

Recently this 2 months, I gradually know of someone close (working in adjacent seats under a 5 mth project) who, sadly for me, is preparing to get married (in fact married under law and living together). I get so interested in her that I felt so strangly that it would be regrets and grieves for me if I do not do anything at all. Yet time is short (customary marriage is in March). I have known her quite 'a lot' in this short 2 months time so far and I know this time it is rather oddly special though I thought our Mating Ratings (from some paid astrological report) was not that superb but at least favourably good. But somehow I had this strong feelings for her. Recently (this 2 weeks), it's hurting and disturbing whenever I realised that she seems rather depressed after her routine daily call with HIM some time before knock-off time.

 

And so to speed up, I tried to understand our horoscope (through paid astro reports), and I have attempted to reveal my feelings in an easy vague jokingly manner on 2 occasions by now (that I like her type, that I wished she was not married). As expected, she was not turned off but seems rather delightful. I am intending next to ask her to (just) POSTPONE her customary marriage but I need to know whether will it cause much discomforts, tensions, etc to the different people and more importantly, if it's worth it.

 

I have not decided whether to tell her my thoughts. The tendency would be NOT to, knowing that there's much commitment made, esp financially, in their marriage preparation. If I do decide, it's not really my intention to stop(!) her marriage but to have more time. Both of us are 30+ and HIM is 34.

 

Hope someone could help. I just need some advice.

[amilasiu]

lets recap here:

1. You know her for only 2 months.

2. She is engaged to be married v. soon, already living with her husband to be for quite a while.

3. They talk on the phone at work every day (ahh, wish me and my bf would have this routine 8) )

4. She did not give you ANY indication that she likes you more than a colleague (her delight at compliments and good astrological compatibility report does not count)

 

And you want to ask her WHAT??? To POSTPONE her marriage??? I have only one answer for you: DON'T. Why:

 

1. she has planned the marriage for a very long time: cake is ordered, dresses are bought, presents are sent.

2. She OBVIOUSLY is commited to her fiancee very much.

3. You have no assurances of her romantic feelings for you, if any.

4. You will be working together (what a discomfort).

 

Frankly, if my colleague would come and say: "Woman, postpone your marriage!", i would freak out, and (i am not a violent person, not at all), would SMACK him upside the head. 2 months is too short for that sort of major step: it might be just infatuation from your side. Why cause unpleasantness and major work-place gossip.

[markii]

ya .. fate has been v tough on me .. there's not a single chance for any dating, shared activities, romance, living together ...

 

but i can't bear to get the indications that it was she who pushed for the marriage because of that big 3x age (jus got past birthd) !! Can see that He is not as willing n excited ... there seems to be some promises unfulfilled by him ... n she seems to head home lonely or hang somewhere else ... last 2 days were e worst i seen, walkin out of office to converse on mobile n comin bac v gloomy n expressionless !! i had to sms her to jus check in, n ask her if everyth's alright tis morning. at times, she wld repeat bad personal experience to me again which i had already overheard from her convers wif other lady colleague.

 

And I've seen her astro report that she might hv a failed first marriage, generally she gets a bit impulsive. I've seen her but in a positive way at times when we talk .. today she spoke of some work-related at a emotional level which i tot she needed some advise .. sucks, i talk on a different level which we both realised later .. : )

 

As for your "4. You will be working together (what a discomfort)." .. i really really do not know .. still in conscious control of myself .. but really do not know if i wld spurt out those 3 words n hold her. : ) ... 2.5 more weeks .. n she'll b away for a month on marriage... highly possible, i wld leave e job prematurely... cant bear c her comin back... dun tin i can take tat.

[babycarrot]

Before you even think about saying anything I would just casually ask why she feels so down lately, and ask if everything is okay with HIM. Then you can get the information you need before pursuing any further, and you'll also come off caring. Win win.

But I wouldn't really trust astrological reports as proof you would or wouldnt be good together, and whether or not her marriage will fail.

[markii]

I know i won't get an answer unless i don't know her. Btw, hv ever ask if everyth is well like a morning greetings, but there wasn't any verbal replies.

 

No, I used those astro reports as indications and they are good indications if you read and think consciously.

 

Hey thks for replying. Btw, the latest development is in other topics author by me. As it stands now, I tin i hv done what I tot i cld do. Tin I shld now b settling my mind dn and be accepting.