QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS WHOLE "NO CONTACT" RULE

[DJHIPHOP]

Well, i was wondering does the whole "no contact" rule work if ur girl is with some other guy or what? im having a problem with that!! i dont know what to do!! any advice on that or what? well, also, i heard that it takes 2-3 months before the ex comes back to u!! is that true? well, i wanted to know if ur girl is with some other guy but it hasnt really gotten serious, will she start to forget about me, since she doesnt hear from me, or weill she think that i found someone else!! here's the last question that i have in mind, why would ur girl start to see some other guy when ur trying so hard to save ur relationship, its like she didnt even put thought into it, is she using him as a distraction, but this guy that she's seeing, he's a player, and she doesnt know it only i do and my friend!! should i tell her or let it play out, but i dont want my girl to messed up, will she come to me if something goes wrong, or will she hesitate to call me or look for me if she breaks up with him or she plays her!! i want to know if she will come back to me if anything happens there with them

[neallo82288]

NObody can tell you if she is going to come back or not. Nobody can forsee the future, which is why we are all here. In a couple of weeks things will get better for you. Just got to give it time. You cannot for no reason interfear in her present relationship. She can never know that you know this information. It will look bad on you. She has to learn from her mistakes and grow from them. I understand that you do not want her all messed up, but where is it your place to sheild her from life? Remembeer that it is her that broke up with you. You need to start healing from you lose and move on. She may some day call, but you are still a basket case then she will run from you, because of the guilt that you will place on her. heal from this and discover that you are more important in your life. Remember the pedastool that you placed her on? Well, she jumped from it and apparently does not want to be placed on a pedastool. Let her make her mistakes and learn from them. There is nothing you can or should do about her and her mistakes. She must and will make mistakes and also must learn from them.

 

Neallo

[rich_1517]

Wow, sorry my friend that is painful. I had the same situation a long time ago, I ended it with the love of my life who promptly slept with the "player" in our group of friends. I was so angry and jealous and hurt i rejected her three months later when she tried to come talk to me.

 

She stood in my bathroom screaming "i hate you". See i had been the jerk but didnt accept it and other things but the point is. I loved this girl and here was my opportunity and i blew it. I couldnt forgive her.

 

Be glad shes with a jerk, she could be with a good guy and that would really be tough. Work on yourself and heal up. if, big IF, she gets dumped and hurt then she may call and need you. no guarantees, none.

 

but thats what you want to aim for. if you really did make her "perfect" stop, thats a need on your part that has nothing to do with reality and is unfair to her. you cant have a relationship with a goddess, and i am sure she doesnt see herself that way. it also makes one very nervous to be perfect. had it done to me.

 

So get busy getting over it, i know thats hard and these words may hurt but do you want to be seen as pathetic and needy or confident and attractive, the choice will dicate your actions. To become confident and attractive - restore your self esteem. HOW? like this:

 

hobbies

working out

help others (answer posts on this board if you can)

go out with friends

go on a date (casual)

do something for someone else. someone moving help, some one fixing something help.

Listen to someone with worse problems than yours

eat

go for long walks

stay busy

what were your goals in life with/without her? do you still have them?

get outside at least 20 minutes everyday.

if you start feeling better - let yourself

 

keep doing this for a while and actively not talk about her and you will feel better. its ok to let go, it really is. you will be ok.