My social anxiety (this is a big part of my problems)

[g84]

I posted yesterday about feeling like coming here has been causing me to feel worst. Some people have told me that this feeling could be coming from not really opening up completely about what is going on with me. At first, I didn't know where I would begin..but I think I know now where a major part of my pain comes from.

 

I've always been pretty shy, but within the last few years, my anxiety has escalated a lot. The thing is, I went to counselling for this a few years ago, and although the people who were working with me were so nice and understanding, I don't think my anxiety was ever really improved.

 

About two years ago when I was first starting university, I had a really bad experience in one of my classes. I basically became aware of the fact that I was being mocked by someone (and I didn't know this person at all; we never even talked). Before you ask how i knew for sure: please believe me: it was made very obvious to me. This happened repeatedly to me through out the semester. I actually posted about this a very long time ago, but i deleted the thread out of embarrassment. No matter what people have told me to do, nothing helped me. Because ever since that happened, I have started to feel like there is something wrong with me inside. My anxiety became so bad in school that i would sometimes have panik attacks before going to my classes. That's a really short version of the story, but this is a big part of what is still holding me back. I just feel very vulnerable now whenever i go outside in general. Even if i go out with someone that i trust, i still feel like i'm going to be hurt.

 

I'm not even in school right now, and it's really embarrassing to admit. I decided to take a break from it, but so far, things are not much clearer to me. I even decided to leave what i was studying before because it didn't feel right for me. Now, i still haven't figured out what i want to study. And even when i do go back to school, i'm worried that this anxiety will hurt me again. I can't imagine myself being comfortable in a class again. It hurts so much because there was a time when I was very enthusiastic about my education. Now, I just can't move forward.

[waveseer]

^^^^^^ I agree with this. Allow yourself to ask for the help you need.

[Balbina]

I suffered from social anxiety and panic attacks on and off in the past. I still feel it sometimes, but I'm equipped with the tools to fight it and continue on with my life regardless.

 

Look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - it really helps in these situations.

[COtuner]

Agreed on CBT. Also voice dialogue coaching is good.

 

Congratulations on stating your exact fears. It's a great start to figuring out how to free yourself of this issue. Can you talk to why you are embarrassed about it? What exactly embarrasses you about taking a break from school?

 

I myself have done it two different times in my life, both when I was losing control over my life and needed time out to get myself and 'things' sorted out. I've found there really is no stigma outside of the campus for doing that, and the older the students, the less likely to find one on campus either.

 

A suggestion? It is often easier to start back in night school, just take a class that's either transferable back to your degree, or just something you are very interested in. Don't start back with something that is boring to you, or is so stressful that it makes the experience intimidating. Most night school students are focused on getting their courses completed, not on the other students. It could give you a bit of anonymity to relax and work through emotions and anxiety.

[SuzieQQ]

They make medication for social anxiety. It does work. I am taking an anti depressant for depression but it also helps with anxiety - Lexapro. There is also Paxil. It can't hurt to try.

[g84]

When I had done therapy a few years ago (i did it for almost 3 yrs), part of the therapy was CBT, and although i liked it, it never seems to help me enough. My old thinking patterns come back. When that person in my class was mocking me, i felt like i was in high school all over again. I literally felt like someone had put me in a time machine or something. My dad was also going through something really hard, so i think i just felt like exploding from all the worry and stress. I havent been the same since...I might see a counselor at school, but i'm even scared of the counselor. Before, i wasn't as afraid to get help. Now, i just feel even more hopeless. Why am i so messed up.

[Balbina]

I would recommend to keep looking for a therapist that works for you.

 

Also, look into some reading material maybe or take the situation into your hands so you can try to really participate in your improvement instead of relying solely on once-a-week visits. Try link removed

[Balbina]

Medication is alright in treating the symptom but you need to treat the cause first.

 

It may work for some people, but I think the most effective way to deal with your issues is head on and there are many natural and effective techniques you could encorporate to help ease yourself into social situations.

[forevertrying]

You sound just the way I feel. I left a college course because I thought everyone was talking about me. There's nothing worse. I would have panic attacks too and would have to walk out and make up some sort of excuse. That was for my HNC and was a part-time course only one day a week. It was awful. In my NC it happened but I managed to fight, got to know everyone and was fine but the HNC, I just couldn't do it.

 

The way I looked at it was that what is the point in putting myself through this when I hate every minute of it. Although I loved the course I was doing. I have decided that I am still young and I have plenty of time to go back and do the course when I'm feeling better. That's hoping that one day I do.

 

I used to have so much confidence and didn't care what anyone thought of me. Now I'm the complete opposite. I can't think about anything else half the time however, I did feel that betablockers seem to help my nerves so would reccomend you to speak to your doctor about getting them. Try them and see if they help you in any way. As for the counselling, I can't comment on that yet. I had an appointment for one near the end of my NC but felt that I was getting better at that point so just said I would make another one if I needed it.

 

I have an appointment in January so I'll see how it goes and if I learn anything helpful, I will let you know. Take care x