Seeing a married man!

[ensign_19]

hi all,

i am stuck in a very difficult postion right now and i guess i have only myself to blame. I am seeing a guy, the problem is he is married and although he wants a divorce, (i am not the reason why he wants one-he is just v unhappy with his marriage) his wife is not mkaing it easy for him as she doesnt believe in divorce! I really love him and he says he really loves me too. I am an extremely attractive girl (so people say!) but more importantly I am a very nice person (pardon me for blowing my own trumpet) so he does not want to lose me but understandably I am not happy with this situation.

I feel the right thing to do would be to put our relationship on hold till he gets a divorce but the way things are going at the moment, it seems like its going to be near impossible for him to get one. Havnt got a clue what to do. Any advice would be very helpful and comforting - thank you.

[Mar]

You're definitely on the right track-if he's serious about wanting a divorce, there's nothing that says he can't get one. Sure it's hard.....but also necessary if someone's truly that unhappy. If he loves you like he says, then he'll get it done and will understand your desire to step away from him until he can come to you an unmarried man. No one enjoys playing second fiddle, and (having been there myself years ago) I also know it's depressing and somewhat demeaning to have the person cheating on their spouse/significant other tell you they love you, then leave you to go back to that other person.

 

Don't be a doormat. Let him know that you're not comfortable being the "other woman" and that, while you still care for him, you'd rather he made up his mind about getting this divorce and can offer 100% of himself rather than the small part you're getting now. If he cares, he'll understand this.

[Michael2]

You are in love with a man, the problem is he's married.

 

Unfortunately I dont have time to expand my post.

 

Overall, he has his cake and he is eating too. I have heard, on numerous occasions, that these so-called "MEN" (more like morons) dump their wives and they end up dating their mistresses. It rarely turns out that way.

 

Personally, I would have a very difficult time trusting someone who is cheating on their wife. What makes you think, that after he is with you, he wont stray.

 

THis is a very difficult situation, and I suggest you do some soul searching. You say you dont have a clue, well I think you do. THis man, is breaking the sacred vows of marrriage , and you hold him in high regard, something is very wrong here.

 

Ill be blunt with you, this guy gives married men a bad name. If he really wanted to get a divorice, HE WOULD. He's stringing you along. So I have to ask you, do you enjoy playing the part of a puppet?