He Makes me so Angry

[Lacere]

I am a female in my 30's.

I don't know how to deal with my partner. He knows that I am going through an extremely difficult time and he is not very supportive because he complains about things that he thinks I should be doing for him that I am not.

(levels of affection etc). I try to talk to him to help him understand but he just speaks quite poorly toward me. His ignorant and selfish ways make me so upset, I cannot stand the strain on top of everything else. Because I am so stressed I question my judgement to make a decision to end the relationship.

I broke it off with someone once and really regretted it. People seem to say quite lightly to break up but I see that as a major life decision and how can I make such a decision while I am in this nervous state. I will try and calm down to see reason.

 

I don't know if it is possible to have a relationship with someone when you absolutely can't stand their family either. They are utterly dispicable people and he is blind to how they control, manipulate and use him. I wish he would wake up.

 

I don't know if I should leave him?

[HappyAsALark]

I would make sure you have laid all of this out to him before you make any decision. If you have just been acting stressed and haven't told him why you are then he has no idea what is going on.

[Lacere]

I thought that I had explained everything thouroughly to him. I will talk to him tonight, and see how that goes.

[HappyAsALark]

I thought that I had explained everything thouroughly to him. I will talk to him tonight, and see how that goes.

 

Good luck. Don't get defensive and angry with him. He probably has no clue as to why you are acting the way you are. And if after you explain everything to him he doesn't change some what, then I would reconsider the breaking up thing.

 

Oh and family is always a touchy subject...I would refrain from calling them insulting names and so forth when you speak with him.

[Lacere]

Thankyou Happy, you have been a real help. Thankyou.

[ghost69]

so did you talk to him? sounds like everything about this guy bugs you. i find it interesting that you started off this thread that you are in your 30s. it almost sounds to me like you are staying with this guy just to NOT be the girl in her 30s and single.

[Lacere]

No I started off the thread so anyone responding could know vaguely who they were talking to and if I did speak to him I certainly would not talk to you about it are you a Ghost because you sound like one.

 

I could not care less if I was single I don't make rash stupid decisions hence the post in the first place. Why are you on this forum?

[summerpeach]

My ex and I would get angry all the time. I was always ticked at him for this or that. He just really annoyed me.

Me being annoyed was my issue though.

And I also could NOT stand his family. Ugh! I think about them and I feel ill. I am someone who likes everyone, but his family are a needy/crazy bunch and I just could not relate.

 

I also have a serious illness and my ex was not there for me. I live alone and some days could not get out of bed, but he would rather have played emotional games than help

 

But how I see it now. I was 50% to blame.

 

Tell him how you truly feel and see what he does

[Lacere]

Thankyou Summerpeach I appreciate your feedback, I am sorry to hear about your illness.

 

I know that I am part to blame which is why I want to work it out. I talked to him and he said he was sorry. I just think it is best if I don't talk to him about his family, although I had to explain that certain things they did to me were not right and have left me no choice but to have nothing to do with them.

 

I have a terrible legal battle going on. Lawyers are trying to rip me off over 70,000 dollars so I am angry at them and get annoyed too easily. I will be glad when all the crap is over!

[summerpeach]

Thankyou Summerpeach I appreciate your feedback, I am sorry to hear about your illness.

 

I know that I am part to blame which is why I want to work it out. I talked to him and he said he was sorry. I just think it is best if I don't talk to him about his family, although I had to explain that certain things they did to me were not right and have left me no choice but to have nothing to do with them.

 

I have a terrible legal battle going on. Lawyers are trying to rip me off over 70,000 dollars so I am angry at them and get annoyed too easily. I will be glad when all the crap is over!

 

Maybe just take some time for you alone to assess what is best for you. Having all this trouble of your own will cause anger in any one. Sometimes it's our anger that warps are send of others as well.

Anger is a very powerful emotion

 

The family thing is hard b/c he will never defend you against them.

At the end, I refused to see my ex's family. My ex lived on the same floor in an apt building as his mom and dad and the dad's GF. They are together ALL the time, eat meals together, hang out together and that was just too odd for me. He's a 44 yr old man. All so weird! When he stayed at my place every second weekend, they would call him all the time.

ugh! It turned me off so much, I was not sexual attracted to him anymore.

It's very unmanly to hang with your mom and dad at 44

[Lacere]

What you say makes sense. I need time to myself to sort through the stress of my own troubles. I have been concerned that this has warped my perception of the situation.

 

I am sorry to hear that you had to put up with that from your ex's family. My partner moved away with me to prove he can be independent of them but the mother still tries to contact him a lot. I feel he has not lived or found himself because he has been under her control. I hoped moving would give him a new lease of life but he complains that he misses them so much. It certainly is not manly to be needy of them at his age, 38yo.

[annie24]

maybe you both need to have a serious talk. it sounds like both of you feel unappreciated and unsupported.

 

in what ways does he speak poorly towards you? how does he react when you tell him how you feel? what do you need to feel supported by him?

[Lacere]

maybe you both need to have a serious talk. it sounds like both of you feel unappreciated and unsupported.

 

in what ways does he speak poorly towards you? how does he react when you tell him how you feel? what do you need to feel supported by him?

 

He gets defensive when I try to tell him how I feel then will usually say sorry when he understands better. Some times he gets impatient towards me and says words meaning that he wants me to stop talking. I just don't like the way he says it. I want him to be able to not put pressure on me to be really affectionate at the moment because I am too stressed with this legal stuff.

[annie24]

maybe he just wouldn't make a good life partner for you? if he can't be supportive when you are going through a rough time, i don't think he's husband material.

[Lacere]

maybe he just wouldn't make a good life partner for you? if he can't be supportive when you are going through a rough time, i don't think he's husband material.

 

He works long hours and gets very tired, but yes he is not supportive enough. I feel really stressed with how he has been. I guess I have no choice but to leave him.