Next??

[rich_1517]

Ok so its clear that after a breakup she engaged she is confused, we have an excellent relationship still. (i am hurting however and still want to get back together). After wanting space she is calling. And saying well i guess im not doing the no contact thing very well.

 

Ok so the last couple of months of our relationship was getting tougher i took her for granted, she asked me to move in (2nd time two years). I declined basing it on her stuff needing to be more clear.... Basically i realised that i was using it to be non commital.

 

So i have done no contact (on my part) been nice, got off first, lite flirting, compliments. The obsessing is almost gone.

 

She seems to be on the fence. I believe its time to call and say um, are you just lonely or is something up? want to have coffee?

 

At coffee i would say if you are just lonely but still moving on then i need you to respect the space too. If you are not sure then i think we should make a plan before we get to far. Three years of love trust and acceptance is a lot to let go without a second look.

 

The upshot: i move in we give it six months, doesnt work we end it or we get married.

 

So timming: do i wait for her to call or do i take the intiative?

 

Thoughts?

[Michael2]

You wait for her to call.

[neallo82288]

The pain of a break up is unbearable, but we must drudge through it and deal with it. Leave her alone and let her make the call. You don't want her to know that you still think about her. If she still loves you and wants to see you again then she will call. They always call. Anyway, the no contact thing is not about getting her back, but about you improving yourself and moving on with your life. Time will heal all wounds, but it is not time but what you do with the time. How are you improving yourself? If you call her, what will that prove? Nothing!!! If you call her before she is ready, then you will chase her even farther away. Let her be and when the time is right she will call.

[rich_1517]

thanks guys your words are appreciated. I am walking a lot, working on finding more work and trying to stay mentally and emotionally grounded. this site and your feedback has helped alot.

[raggamuffin]

To give you another point of view....why should you wait for her to call?? Anyway I have never been like that with any of my exes if I have wanted to chat or meet up I call them. She doesnt need to know you might want to give it another shot. It will hinder your getting over her if you do take this step. Infact undoubtadly it will push you into a more lonely state and you will look for signs in her that she still wants you and they may not be there. I guess you just have to make a decision that you are not going to regret later. I always think of it like this; its better to say you tried and failded that didnt try at all that way you cant regret not trying. Thats just my thoughts. What do you think??