Barscene

[martin6565]

I don't really know what it is, but i really do not like the bar scene. It's just awkward for me. I feel more at home meeting girls other places, but in our society, you really can't avoid the bars at night. It's what people "do" when the sun goes down to hang out.

 

I just find it really uncomfortable for ME, as a GUY to walk up to some random girl and start dancing behind or with them. I just think that's creepy....idk

[schaser]

Then simply don't go. If it isn't for you, then so be it. You like what you like.

 

There surely must be other people who aren't into bars. Do you work or study? If so, then why not ask others what they do in the evenings after work or classes? You might be able to meet others of like mind and interest that way.

[Mandoro]

Yea its not my scene either. Although I hear I could be successful in it. Im more into small groups of people that I mainly know just hanging out and doin whatever

[Day_Walker]

You just have to know what to expect at a bar or club. Instead of just walking up and dancing with them focus on small talk, keep your conversations quick and see if you get any women to show interest. Avoid the creepiness and focus on other aspects of getting to know a girl, get away from buying them a drink and instead focus on short conversations, about topics that make you look good, then you ask for her number.

[musicguy]

the bar scene sucks, when I go to a bar I get bored

[purpleduckie]

i dont like the bar scene either. at least, not for dating/sex. i go to dance with my friends. i hate that it's so overrated in our culture though.. like the "cool" thing to do? i'm over the whole party/drinking thing because i kind of went crazy in highschool. there's a lot more to do. i wouldn't force myself into doing something i didn't like. if you don't feel comfortable with it, then do something else. reserve the bars for once in awhile/social thing like me. =)

[AuthenticAuthor]

No drinks other than beer, dancing floor with few seats and tables to discourage resting, with probably loud assaultive music, maybe even (gasp) KARAOKE! That for me would be the bar from Hell.

 

Plenty of chairs and tables, with friendly waiters, with jazz music in the background, with fine ROOT beer and the cast from Cheers. That for me would be the bar from Heaven.

 

Strangely, it's seems as if we have more bars from Hell than those from Heaven. I blame out-sourcing.

[musicguy]

I'd rather go to a bar to see a good live band by myself or with friends than just go tol. I drink alcohol. I can drink alcohol at home.

[Salucious]

I don't really like the bar either, at least not in the sense of meeting people. In bars, I feel like women have their guard up to "impenetrable fortress" mode, since they have to weed out a lot of creeps, drunks, and guys just looking to get lucky. At bars meeting girls always seems kind of forced...and girls expect it too, which is why the spontaneity of meeting a girl somewhere else can work to your advantage. It is much easier to meet an interesting person out in public, school, in hobbies, through friends etc. I usually go to hang out with my friends and shoot pool, and throw back some beers. I go there just to get out of the house and wind down from a week of classes.

[Nutz]

I just find it really uncomfortable for ME, as a GUY to walk up to some random girl and start dancing behind or with them. I just think that's creepy....idk

 

A) That's a terrible way to approach women if you want to have a meaningful interaction. Stay away from the dance floor until after you talk a bit. Bars can most certainly lead to solid relationships, but they do have a stigma. I suggest you push that out of your mind as the women you're meeting at bars & clubs are still the same people during the day. All that's changing is the time and location. The people are still the same.

 

B) Do what makes you comfortable, but you also have to push past your boundaries a bit as most people are socially programmed to be antisocial. From the time we're little kids it's ingrained into our thinking that talking to strangers is bad and dangerous. Well, once you're an adult it's time to put that way of thinking to rest. Sadly a good chunk of the population never do. Once you get over that bit of social programming I suggest you check out link removed and find social networking groups in your local area and meet people through them.

[Bad Wolf]

Get on the piss before you go lol, I find talking and dancing with random chicks MUCH easier when i'm on the piss with mates or something.

[Nutz]

I don't really like the bar either, at least not in the sense of meeting people. In bars, I feel like women have their guard up to "impenetrable fortress" mode, since they have to weed out a lot of creeps, drunks, and guys just looking to get lucky. At bars meeting girls always seems kind of forced...and girls expect it too, which is why the spontaneity of meeting a girl somewhere else can work to your advantage. It is much easier to meet an interesting person out in public, school, in hobbies, through friends etc. I usually go to hang out with my friends and shoot pool, and throw back some beers. I go there just to get out of the house and wind down from a week of classes.

 

 

There's another term for that impenetrable fortress: link removed

 

There are so many ways to get through that it's not even funny. Instead I suggest reading Magic Bullets, The Venusian Arts Handbook, and my blog which has a ton of resources linked to it. Guys, you don't have to struggle with this stuff. There's actually dating science you can lean on now to get a grip on attracting women.