I dont know what this was... :/

[3boys]

Well what if Im not allowed to have certain jobs? My goal is to get through nursing school and either be a psychiatric nurse, or go back to school to be a fire fighter. You can't do that if somethings wrong. If I could manage it on my own, then they'd never have to know, right? If it only happens every few months, then I could hide it, or maybe grow out of it. I wont have to tell my family, and make my mom upset, or my dad tell me that it's still all in my head. I feel better just sort of assuming that it happens to everyone. I was freaked out after it happened but now that Im calmed down it doesnt seem like a good idea to tell anyone.

 

I'm not trying to scare you or anything, but you probably aren't just going to "grow out of" these and they don't just happen to everyone. IRL, I know of no other person who has ever experienced this. And, unless you figure out how to control them on your own, you probably shouldn't have certain jobs, regardless of how much you want to.

 

Let's assume you don't tell anyone, go back to school and become a firefighter and it happens while you're in the middle of a fire and you have no control over it. Or, you become a psychiatric nurse and are dealing with a patient having an episode like this when you start having one yourself. What are you going to do then?

 

Besides, I don't think seeing a doctor about this would keep you from becoming a nurse or firefighter. As long as whatever it was could be treated and was not transmittable, you would be covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act and they could not deny you a job. If I can become a teacher with my dx, you certainly could become a nurse...

[paintedfish]

thank you for your answers... Im sorry that Im being difficult. Im just so nervous. Once its been gone for a few days I feel so normal that I feel like maybe I just made it up, or it wasnt as bad as it seems. But I read over my original post about it, and that reminded me of how I really did feel... I dont know what outcome from this would make me happy, so its hard to not convince myself it's better not knowing, you know?

 

You're right, Im exaggerating, I guess, about being kept from jobs. Its just a fear... I dont want to be held back from anything, and I already feel its a huge struggle to get there.

[3boys]

thank you for your answers... Im sorry that Im being difficult. Im just so nervous. Once its been gone for a few days I feel so normal that I feel like maybe I just made it up, or it wasnt as bad as it seems. But I read over my original post about it, and that reminded me of how I really did feel... I dont know what outcome from this would make me happy, so its hard to not convince myself it's better not knowing, you know?

 

You're right, Im exaggerating, I guess, about being kept from jobs. Its just a fear... I dont want to be held back from anything, and I already feel its a huge struggle to get there.

 

I totally understand how you feel. I "justified" things for years before I finally got up the courage to go see someone. There are days I wish I hadn't, but most of the time, I'm glad I did...at least now I know what's going on inside my head and how to take care of it.