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I dont know what this was... :/


paintedfish

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Last night, I had a panic attack... and it started out like a normal one, but as it went on my chest was hurting really bad, but then it spread all over. My mind started to feel like... I think the way I described it was "full of confetti and no thoughts." And for a while after that, I dont know how long, I felt completely disconnected from everything. I tried to speak and couldn't say certain phrases, and I tried to read something that was in my car and it looked like a bunch of triangles and 7s, and like... cave drawings. But they were still familiar... I dont know. And my friend that was in the car with me started to feel like some dark(in color, he was wearing black) form that was in the right side of my head to keep me from being alone. He kept lying to me, and it felt like he hated me and wanted to hurt me. Then I started seeing these strange faces in the parking lot lights around me and eventually I felt them coming up behind me and it felt like they were going to rip open my neck and shred my legs up and I tried to keep quiet about it so they wouldnt know I was scared, but I couldnt stop screaming at them. My mind just like...whited out in terror and I couldnt get away from them and it felt like they were enjoying how scared I was. I couldnt actually see them but I could feel where they were, and when they'd get closer and I knew what they looked like.

 

I remember not being scared of them and they left, but everything still felt really disconnected and sad. My head hurt and my chest was all contricted, and I couldnt sleep.

 

This has happened before, just not starting out with a panic attack like that one, and I usually dont remember this much, because Id fall asleep after, I think. But when I woke up today, I was really tired, and I still feel panicky and Im in a really horrible, snappy mood. I dont know if this happens to everyone, or what it is, or if someone experiences something similar... From what my friend said it lasted about 4 hours, but I dont remember the clock really.

 

Any kind of explaination would be welcome.

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I have encountered an individual with a similar occurrence, and she felt like she was having a dejevou, she forgot wherre she was where she was driving, and I rushed this indivudal to the hospital, the only thing the doctor will tell you is that its anxiety, or post-traumatic stress, and may offer you anxiety medicine. If i were you I would not take those as they have more negative effects then positive, however, the point I am trying to get at, it must've been quite scary for you BUT if you try relaxing, and easing your mind/body with some excercise or something........YOU WILL DEFINETLY feel much better. don't fret i think this happens to a lot of people, anxiety-panic attacks that lead to temp. memory loss.....yet if you feel you need professional consultation id say definetly GO!!!!!!!!

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Ive only been to a therapist once, when I was young, so I couldnt say Im not. But I really dont think so. Im never crazy energetic or anything. Its always lows. And no head trauma.

 

For normal panic attacks I would walk around, but I couldnt leave the car this time. I tried, we werent moving, but everything was so big. The panic attacks dont bother me as much, I can get through them. Its seeing stuff and NOT seeing real stuff that Im asking about. I feel so weird today, everything is off. Panic attacks affect me for an hour after, tops. Its been 17 hours or so.

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maybe this dissociative, hallucinogenic episode was a defense mechanism to your panic attack. coupled with the lack of food in your body, maybe the stress was too much. just putting it out there, i don't intend to scare you. i hope you find your answer soon. good luck.

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I didnt really feel hungry... though you might be right. It happens when tired or stressed, usually. Im not really too scared, I thought this was relatively normal for someone my age. I told my mom about it a few months back and she said that happens to everyone, and to just wait it out. Ive just never felt this off for this long afterward. I feel so dizzy and distracted.

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I think your mom is wrong - this doesn't happen to everyone. If she is experiencing this too, she should go to the doctor with you. This sounds like way more than a panic attack - it sounds like a chemical imbalance of some sort. I'd suggest talking to a neurologist or endocrinologist.

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I think that your Mom may have been misunderstanding what's been happening to you. While it's true that many people feel anxious from time to time, what happened to you last night is not normal at all. You really should go and see a doctor as soon as possible and find out what's going on. Go to your family doctor and tell him everything that happened, maybe write down what you've written here so that you don't forget anything. He or she can evaluate you and send you to whatever type of specialists he thinks you should see. Please don't ignore this.

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Of course it won't annoy them I think your fears of bringing this to a doctor or counselor is part of your anxiety. If you're more comfortable seeing the counselor first, then do that and maybe they'll refer you to a doctor that's associated with your school. Just be sure to see see someone.

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Everyone thinks Im a liar. Im scared that whoever I go with this will think so too. I just dont even know if its worth risking that kind of thing and talking about it or just talking about other stuff, and dealing with this when it comes up. I just feel really alone in it, you know?

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Doctors and counselors are professional who aren't going to have any pre-conceived notions about you. There job is to listen and get you the help that you need. What happened to you the other night could be something that a doctor should be told about and there's absolutely nothing to be afraid of. What scares you more...telling someone about it or having it happen again? If it were me, I'd be choosing telling a doctor or counselor.

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I dont know... It seemed like a good idea to say something but now that Ive calmed down I dont think itd be worth it.

 

They only happen every 2 months or so, and I can usually ride them out. This always happens. I feel cruddy and I think I need to talk to someone, and then I talk myself out of it because I dont feel so bad anymore, or whatever the reason.

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Well... in a way. Im terrified that if there IS something wrong it'll go on a record and Ill be labeled as something, you know? But on the other hand... Im scared Im going to spill my guts to a stranger and theyre going to tell me its normal and Im being weak and dramatic and hormonal. Not to rehash the mom point, but shes the one I trusted to talk about this kind of stuff to, and she always tells me its normal and I should get over it.

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Well, maybe what happened to you was more than a panic attack, although I'm not sure. It sounds like you were hallucinating and having an episode of paranoia, thinking that your friend wanted to hurt you etc. This isn't a normal thing to happen to someone and I think you need to find out what caused it. What if it happens again and it's worse next time? I'd be much more frightened of that than of talking to someone about it. Please see your doctor about this.

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Well... in a way. Im terrified that if there IS something wrong it'll go on a record and Ill be labeled as something, you know? But on the other hand... Im scared Im going to spill my guts to a stranger and theyre going to tell me its normal and Im being weak and dramatic and hormonal. Not to rehash the mom point, but shes the one I trusted to talk about this kind of stuff to, and she always tells me its normal and I should get over it.

 

Honey, what's the worst that can happen if you arelabeled as something? No one has to know but you and the doctor. If a doctor tells you that it's normal and you're being weak and dramatic, then he needs to go back to med school. I suffered for YEARS because I had the same fears you do about being labeled as this or that. I finally broke down earlier this year and went. Even though it's been rough, I can honestly say it's probably the best thing I ever did. Please go see someone about this. They're not just going to go away.

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Well what if Im not allowed to have certain jobs? My goal is to get through nursing school and either be a psychiatric nurse, or go back to school to be a fire fighter. You can't do that if somethings wrong. If I could manage it on my own, then they'd never have to know, right? If it only happens every few months, then I could hide it, or maybe grow out of it. I wont have to tell my family, and make my mom upset, or my dad tell me that it's still all in my head. I feel better just sort of assuming that it happens to everyone. I was freaked out after it happened but now that Im calmed down it doesnt seem like a good idea to tell anyone.

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