i broke my friendship and trust. i feel guilty. plz help!

[babybees]

note: I put "me" to express myself when I chatted with him

 

I met this guy a year ago and we became friends..then we decided to have an open relationship. We gave respect to each other that we could have our own dates. And he promised me that he wouldn't sleep around. So i trusted him.

one day i played with him, unplanned..it was just happened unintentionally.

I chatted with him and he didn't know that was me. The conversation was getting hot and later he showed "me" pictures of his,,,very naughty. By that time I felt so betrayed. but I kept the conversation going on. and he became worst. So NAUGHTY!!

We chatted for 2 days..and I knew that he wanted to have sex with "me" so bad and told "me" that he would leave me for "me" (i hope i don't confuse you guys with this "me" and me!! )

And he did, he called me the next day that he would like to end our relationship. He told me everything about this "girl" he met online and he felt he had a crush on her and wanted to have a hot date. he wanted to see if they liked each other. But he still wanted to be friends with me.

 

He hoped so much on this "girl". He would fly to the state "i" live" just to meet "me". and he wanted to talk with "me" on the phone.

Of course, I couldn't do all of those things. So i decided to make up a story. Basically telling him that "I" didn't want him. I emailed him.

But I got so busted. The email address I used was showing my real name.

So he knew what was going on..

 

I feel so guilty playing with him. and i know by that time, i broke his trust and friendship. Something i didn't want to happen.

But on the other hand, if the chatting never happened, i wouldn't know his other personality. He was always nice with me before. But after the game, I felt he sounded like someone who would leave at the first sight of

something better, then come back to me when he feels like it.

 

I don't know what to do..should i talk with him. tell him how i feel and apologize to what i did? i just want to be his friend..

or should i just let it go?

please help me..

 

thank you to read my long story,,,

[The Morrigan]

Honey - I think part of the problem here is you weren't on quite the same page of this "open" relationship. It seems he was thinking by breaking with you when he was tempted to sleep with someone else, he felt he was living up to what you both wanted - and you wanted a bit more in the way of committment. Since you were both free to date, and this was basically a friends with benefits situation, it seems the expectations of how long it would take him to decide he wanted to sleep with someone else just didn't line up between you. He probably figures he was living up to your understanding, breaking off with you before actually doing anything with someone else (even though it turns out it was you), and you felt slighted that he would break off with you to have a sexual relationship with someone else.

 

You're going to have to come completely clean and talk to him about what happened - that it wasn't intentional to begin with on your part, but after it started you were tempted to find out how far he would go - and gave into that temptation. If you really care for him as a friend and don't want to lose that, well, sometimes when we screw up with our friends, the quickest and cleanest way to get it over with is the hardest - admit to what you did wrong, swallow the pride with a bit of humble pie for dessert, give him a heartfelt apology, and throw the ball in his court.

 

And umm, be careful to make sure you understand in advance just how much committment to giving notice to the other party is in any "friends with benefits" relationship like this - or what comes accross to one party as disrespectful is what the other party thinks is being respectful.