Quick. Advice needed ASAP.

[MountainGuy3]

Okay, I'm not usually one to freak out over ex stuff. But lately, my ex and I have begun to have more contact than before (we were basically NC for a couple of months. My choice, as I was not in proper shape to talk with her, let alone try friendship.) Anyway, I called her recently just to say that I was finally ready to resume contact and catch up a bit. So, then I made a mistake and missed a big opportunity to see her when she was around. (We live distantly from each other.) I think she took this as deliberately standing her up, or maybe a sign that I wasn't really "ready" to see her again, despite my claims.

 

So I apologize for my mistake... which was an unfortunate result of one of a rare celebratory night out. Anyway, she seems to understand, but takes her time in accepting the apology. Then she tells me that she was sorry for not accepting it earlier than she did. Then we have a rather lengthy IM conversation, and she wonders if I'll be in her neck of the woods any time soon. I said that I would if I had a good reason and the time to do so. She replied that she could find "something" for us to do.

 

I still have feelings for her, though they are hard to figure out sometimes. It's almost like a romanticism that underlies what used to be the most trusting and caring relationship I've ever had... Yet she and I are both currently involved with other people. I loved her, but was having a really tough time in my own life when we broke up - due to physical distance, and personal issues with family and my health. I wasn't very good to her in our last months together, and was incredibly excited to make it up to her when I moved closer to where she was living. Then, she ended it. This pretty much crushed me, and we tried the friends thing, but it seemed to dissolve when I figured out she was seeing somebody else - I just couldn't seem to be myself. Even though it was completely her right and good for her to do so - it really got to me.

 

So now I don't know if I should find a way to go see her or not, because I know it's going to stir up the same old feelings that I thought I had finally gotten over, but I really miss her as my friend. I also don't want to damage her current relationship, but miss her and really would love to see her. I'm pretty torn about this. What's your take???

[redhearts]

Okay your with someone. Your not over your ex, no your not.

[MountainGuy3]

Yea, I'm rather surprised that I'm feeling like this. It doesn't make me feel good that I'm experiencing these feelings while seeing somebody. Like I said, I'm torn. This isn't normal for me, and I just was hoping for advice, not to be told how I'm feeling. I understood that before I wrote the message. Either way, thanks for the post.

[SupaflyTNT]

Here's some advice. She broke up with you, you aren't over her and you're dating someone else. I assume you enjoy the company of the woman you're currently dating. Your ex is dating someone else. Stay away from her and you shouldn't be contacting her until you are actually over her, if that ever happens.

 

You're just hurting yourself if you do anything else.

[denise_14]

Here's some advice. She broke up with you, you aren't over her and you're dating someone else. I assume you enjoy the company of the woman you're currently dating. Your ex is dating someone else. Stay away from her and you shouldn't be contacting her until you are actually over her, if that ever happens.

 

You're just hurting yourself if you do anything else.

 

well said. unless you're a hundred percent sure you're just after friendship, don't see her for now. it'll be unfair for her new partner, as well as yours.

[MountainGuy3]

Thanks. I went for a run and cleared my head out a bit - it doesn't seem so complicated now. Though I do miss her, I think I may have been misconstruing this for more than it was.