Is he afraid to further things in our relationship

[mskc0511]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years since high school. Were are both in college and there may be a possibility that he will be transfereing to a my school or one nearby. We have discussed living together if this happens. Now all of a sudden , that it is getting close to these decisions...he thinks that it wouldnt ba a good idea. As of right now...our relationship is at a stand still because any decsions that we make depend on where he ends up going to school..Mind you we only see each other once a week. We said that we were gonna do all of these things but now.l..if things work out in our favor that we wont be doing what we said that we would. If he does end up moving near my ..I dont know where our relationship could go then...would it still stand still like it is now...or is there a possibility for progression. I dont know what other steps to take to move on in our relationship. I would like to get ingaged but I know that he doesnt think that the time is right. Its seems to me that he is afraid....how does it seem to you? Is there anything else that we can do to further our relationship? He seems content with it ...I guess because of his opiinions about everything. What do you think that we should do and do you think that he is afraid to committ?

 

Thanks

[Beec]

He might be afraid of seomthing, but no one here can read his thoughts. Even if we knew him, we couldn't without talking to him and really having him tell us or being able to read his body language from his comments regarding your relationship. Only his communcations can tell you what he is thinking.

 

He needs to do now what is right for his future. If it works for him, then it will work for you too, should you stay together.

 

He may be afraid of the stress distance will put on the relationship.

 

All these questions are you trying to analyze what he wants. What you should be doing is to make him want what you want. You cannot force him, but you can act in a way that helps him want you, make him want you more, makes him want a relationship with you more, etc. Don't ask what he wants, go get what you want.

 

Pushing him to act in that way is not the answer. Don't push him to be engaged. Make him realize he can and should rely on you more, he can and is fulfilled by you, and he will want you. At the same time, don't lean on and rely on him too much. If you are too needy and pushy, you will send him away.