HELP..(WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN SHE FLIRTS ON MY "TURF?

[digitaldiva]

I think that everyone has some minor insecurities but I do not think I have a huge insecurity problem.When ever I bring one of my female friends around a guy that I am interested in she immediately starts overly flirting with them...For example. I was dating a guy that was a bartender. I went to visit him at the bar one night. We were all having a nice time so I decided to invite my girlfriend. She told me that she thought he was attractive and I thanked her. It went all downhill from there. She kept staring at him and even removed her sweater to reveal a very skimpy top that she had on underneath. I just sat there wondering what the hell was going on as she told a these elaborate lies and and gyrated her ass and hips in front of my man and the people at the bar...The more inebriated she became the louder, overly sexual and obnoxious she was. At one point he even told her to remove her LEG from the counter at his bar....When we all stood up to leave she had on very tight jeans and squated all the way to the floor in a legs wide open position and her arms stretched forward.. She said she had to "stretch"..Everyone (mostly men at the bar) thought she was funny....Which I think she is also but I also think there are limits.

 

I don't wan to sound insecure by saying something to her... I'm not sure exactly what I should do to resolve this problem. If anyone has every been in a similar situation or just care to add something PLEASE DO SO..!!

[secret_agent_man]

Agreed on this one.

It's not that you're insecure, it's that she's disrespectful of her friends, obnoxious, rude, and she most likely is the one that's most insecure (from the way you describe things).

There are certain lines that shouldn't be crossed, and friends should respect those boundries. If you're uncomfortable with the way she's acting, then I suggest you at least make an effort to explain this to her. If she's a true friend, she'll try to see your side of it...

 

Good luck, diva!

S.A.M.

[QTpie87]

well tell her. tell her how you feel about it. just be carful not to get into a fight because friendships can last forever, but boys will most likely end up leaving while we are still young.

[digitaldiva]

I think that I would rather not be friends with someone that has no respect for me or my friends though...I'm still thinking of what to say to her...I'm not the only one that's noticed that she has no boundaries...

[QTpie87]

okay im sorry i wasn't sure if you wanted to stay friends or not, but in that case, i have a suggestion on what to say to her that would possibly make her back off of the guy, but for sure make her leave you alone. just tell her face to face that you thought she was your friend but she evidentally doesn't care about you or the friendship. tell her that she knew you like him and still went along with flirting and showing herself off to him so she can't really be a true friend. tell her that she can do whatever she wants because you have confidence in yourself and you believe you can get him if you want. tell her that you don't wan to be friends anymore because friends respect eachother and help eachother out in situations like that, they don't try to take the guy or flirt with the guy you want. i don't know if that is really what you are looking for, but that is what i would say. good luck.

love Qtpie87

[Kadillac]

Something similar happened to me. I had a friend who basically tried to have sex with my b/f at a party while I was sleeping in the other room. She even told him that I wasn't good for him and she makes such a good g/f. She was extremely drunk. He told me the next day and other people who saw it told me. I basically called her and didn't accuse her of doing anything. I asked her if it happened. I had a very calm voice and just asked her if the different situtations were true. She completley denyed them. I told her that I understood that she was drunk and I wasn't mad I just wanted the truth and she still denyed it. I havn't talked to her since. My first dating rule in friendship is NEVER flirt, date, have sex with etc. with my friends b/f. I think its wrong and I think that if anyone does one of the above I don't think they are a true friend. There are so many men out there to choose from your friend can find someone else to flirt with.

[secret_agent_man]

I'm not the only one that's noticed that she has no boundaries...

Diva, that line basically should re-assure you that you're not being overly insecure here...

 

But, you are definitely on the right track with "she doesn't respect me, so she's not my true friend". On the other hand, she may not even realize what she does, so talking to her may make her see the light... Don't jump into an argument without seeing her reaction to this first, ya know?

 

S.A.M.