Does he really wanna committ or trying to wade things out

[mskc0511]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we are both in college however we go to different schools. We live about an hour ...hour and a half away from each other and we have jobs and stuff so we can only really see each other on the weekends. I am at a university and he is at a junior college. He was supposed to transfer this year but things prevented that...he will be transfering in the fall. The thing is that there is a big possibility that he wont be going to a school near me. He and I have had this long distance relationship since we have been together. I dont know how much longer I can hold out especially knowing that there is a bigger chance of him going to a university farther away than he is to me now. If he did end up going to a school near by we discussed getting an apartment together....but he doesnt sound to thrilled about it. NOt that he doesnt want to ....but at the sametime not like he does. Any time that I bring up how I wish that he was here with me and how much I miss him ..he feels that it is his fault that we are not together. I felt that way when I went away to school. We have talked about getting engaged but we (he) came to the conclusion that that would not be the best thing right now. And to an extent I agree. He doesnt want to talk about the future...I guess because he knows what is gonna happen. I have no idea what to expect. I dont think that he is really as devoted to me as he says because he would have been doing everything in his power to be with me. Like trying harder to get into my school. Is that opinion...conclusion rediculous.? I guess in a sense ...later on it may be his fault...but am I in the wrong for expressing myself. To be honest...I just want to know if he is committed as he says that he is...but his actions dont seem like it. Should I stop telling him how I feel because it bothers him...or should I continue what I am doing...I dont know what to do. We both say that we wouldnt mind being engaged but...it is not the smart thing...in a sense we...he is worried about what people would say...personally I dont care. Do you think that it would be a good sign of committment if he were to ask me to marry him regardeless as to what happens...because if our relationship continues to be at the level that it is and he moves further away...I dont think that I could deal with it emotionally...I would have to break up with him...I dont want to be in a relationship that doesnt know where it is going...Let me know what you think...Thanks

[sbojo32]

Good luck! Based on personal experience, I would shy away from forcing commitment in any sense (getting engaged, moving in together, etc) because if he feels forced into it, down the road he's going to resent you for it.

He could be feeling pressured by you to make a commitement right now and that's why he's agreeing and his actions are saying otherwise. He doesn't want to lose you, but he's not ready to make that kind of commitment.

Give him time. Back away from pressing about marriage and engagement. He's there for you, and if it's meant to be, he has to realize it on his own, not with you pushing him.

Good luck.