Intimacy before a break up.

[Delmo]

I have a read a lot of posts on here where people say their brake up came "out of the blue". If you fall into this category can you honestly say that the intimacy levels between you and your partner were normal in the days and weeks leading up to the split? I'm sure most dumpers who take the decision to leave their partners do not do so instantly, so if you have been a dumper were your levels of Intimacy normal up until the point you told your partner you were leaving or did they diminish over a period of time?

[lostandhurt]

My ex came to me for sex days before I found out she was cheating. Sex is not everything. Some people are very good at deceiving the ones they love until the last moment.

 

lost

[midnightrambler]

i dated a girl who said "let's do it on more time before we break up"...we did

[Delmo]

. Sex is not everything.

 

lost

Understood, but intimacy is more than just sex.

[StretchGee]

Intimacy levels vary a great deal in relationships. If your level of intimacy is high (that is, very close), how could you not see signs of an impending breakup, or at least withdrawal.

 

For a low intimacy relationship I could easily see how a breakup could come 'out of the blue' as the connection was shallow to begin with.

[COtuner]

Yep. I was in "low intimacy" for about 8 and a half months, maybe 9 and a half. I was sharing everything with him, he wasn't sharing much with me (except criticism). I put it down to his depression and ongoing unresolved anger over a workplace situation and didn't think about it being in regard to me.

 

I was wrong. Funny, because he told me it was about me, but I didn't really believe him because the other stuff was there too. I told my ex just before he left me that we didn't stick together as a team to face crises in each other's lives. He isolated himself from me during his (stoic, self-reliant and always rational and logical from his viewpoint), and I kept leaning on him when he didn't know how to or want to give me support during mine.

 

So yeah, I felt it coming and tried everything I could to alter it but he was so sunk into his anger and depression that he stopped responding to me on any level at all.

[D_Lish]

My ex H, had been out and spent a fortune on new furniture the week before he left....and night before he walked out, we were discussing where we going for our holidays that year. He also had told me he loved me....Next day, he was gone....

 

So yeah, breakups do come out of the blue and often, when you are least expecting it....