Frustrated......... Help...

[InvisibleWound]

Ok I am starting a new thread because this issue is somewhat different. I posted a thread not that long ago on something similar:

 

Anyways I was talking to my dad last night on the phone, he said his workers quit who were scooping berries with him. He only has 2 fields to do but he doesn’t go everyday. He divides his time between fishing and scooping berries, plus the rainy days he can’t do anything anyways. Out of the blue I pretty much said if he wanted I should help, he was cool with that, but I had to tell him I had to think of it.

 

I kind of know what I want to do. But I had to tell my boyfriend what I was thinking about. For anyone who read my last thread, a similar issue like this came up and when I told my boyfriend he started crying and stuff. Anyways last night in bed I told him. This is kinda how our conversation went...

 

Me: “I’m thinking of scooping berries with my dad. It is not a lot of money but it is something I did before, and there is about a month of work left.”

 

Him: “So your moving to your parents house?”

 

Me: “No, I was thinking of helping my dad out, he will pay me for it. The days he does not go I can come back and see you. He doesn’t do it everyday since he still fishes and rainy days he can’t go anyways...”

 

Him: “I don’t know why you just don’t get a real job, no offence. Your opportunity for jobs here is closing since high school students are applying to jobs now too.”

 

Me: “I can still apply to jobs here, but I don’t know how long I should wait around for a interview call. The longer I wait will mean I miss days I could go berrying... But I have not decided yet.”

 

Him: “Well its up to you... I just think it would make more sense to get a job in town.”

 

Me: “Like I said I will apply to jobs here. But if nothing works out here again then I think I should go and do that. It’s a guaranteed job for the time being and all.”

 

Anyways if anyone was confused (me means I was talking and him means my boyfriend was talking) that is how our conversation went. He didn’t cry this time. I can tell he is not impressed with what I want to do though and sounded slightly angry while we talked about it...

I really don’t know what to do. Jobs are limited enough for me here with my anxiety BS making it harder to get jobs as it is... I told him about that too and how its really bringing me down, and all he said was that I had to get over my fear of people or I won’t be able to function in society. Which is true. I am terrified to go to a doctor because if medication is needed I don’t have the money...

 

But anyhow I don’t know what to do. This sucks a lot. I am really depressed right now because if I leave I am worried that something in our relationship will go wrong. Yeah distance sucks, but we need money to get by... I don’t know I just feel really smothered by his reaction to stuff like this and kinda controlled

 

Any help? Advice, please...

[olive]

if he wants to support you and wants you to be happy...as well as feel like a productive member of society and of your relationship...maybe he should let this go...if it's only for a month, then it's really not that bad...and besides...jobs are hard to come by and you need the money..you can always comprimise too...like every other weekend he comes and visits or vice versa...the last time i was in a relationship i felt completely useless when i didn't have a job...and it ended up biting me in the butt (about how i "never did anything")...anyway...if he truly loves you and wants the two of you to work out then it will and he will be at least "ok" with the situation...good luck

[InvisibleWound]

Thanks Olive I appreicte the advice.

 

By the looks of things if I do decide to do it, it will be closer to the end of the work itself. My boyfriend is getting down my back to apply to cashier jobs and I don't want to... But I guess I am going to have to instead of being a baby about it... Oh well I don't know whats going to happen. The stress from this situation alone is enough to make me cry... Ugh its fustrating. I still don't know what to do. I want to work with my dad but then I don't. But we need the money. But my boyfriend is not being supportive of it at all and what is worse is that he told people at his work. And they all said if I work with my dad that is a stupid idea because its a temp job... Ugh I am mad about that, he had no bussiness telling them, its bad enough they know I am unemployed. This entire situation is just sickening... Somedays I don't even want to get out of bed because of my aniexty.... Ah well sorry no more to say.