But what about next time?

[ElasticMagnetic]

For those who don't know, I recently got myself out of an abusive relationship. He hurt me a lot emotionally. He always made me feel guilty. I was afraid of upsetting him because he always got mad. He had so much control over me, he wouldn't even let me hang out with my friends without him there. There's more, but I don't want to go into great detail.

 

I've learned a lot from the experiance, and I don't want it ever to happen again.

 

But lately, I've been thinking about what will happen next time. I'm afraid I'll over react at something that shouldn't bother me much, or something he doesn't really mean.

 

Am I just being silly for fearing such things? This is really bothering me! I don't want to be paranoid about being in relationship with someone! :sad: But he hurt me so much, I'm so afraid!

[Jetta]

I went from one extreme to the other really. I married a nice boring guy the second time. We had nothing in common, he was always home, which sounds nice but it's not when your married for years. Anyway I'm saying odds are you'll be so concerned about it you push away any guy that's remotely close to being like your ex. That's my guess anyway.

[younglady49]

I would think if you could get involved in some type of support group, that would be very beneficial. You will realize that it is not you but him and how we are so dependent on the man, that we lose ourselves. Just remember, you are a good person. And, you need to take time for yourself, as long as it takes, to feel good about yourself again. Believe in yourself. Because you are special.

 

And, if at all possible, stay away from relationships for awhile. They will just mess you up. Give yourself time to heal. Good luck!