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Will he come back?


wondering
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I was dating a guy for 2 1/2 years. We got along well, no real problems except I think it was afraid of committment. He was over my house almost every night and we were practically living together. I think it scared him because he said he felt that we needed to take the next step. We have a 12 1/2 year age difference and he met a woman closer to his age and decided to start dating her (about a month ago). He still calls me, tells me he loves me, misses me. He even called on after midnight on New Year's Eve. I know that there is still a strong bond/attachment between us. He also told me he hasn't made a decision as to whether to keep dating this woman or come back to me. He feels dating this other woman is something he needs to do but if he does come back to me it will be with a committment. I think that instead of taking the time to think about what he really wants, she is a distraction. One reason he is dating her is because of our age difference. Even though right now it's not an issue or a problem, he feels it may be down the road. He has called and told me he has had second thoughts about what he's doing, etc. He has asked me to give him time. But it's very hard. I love him, care about him and miss him and think he's making a big mistake. We keep in contact and it's difficult not to ask him to reconsider what he's doing. He's confused and I'm not sure what to do.

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First of all.. if he really loved and cared about you as much as he says, he wouldn't be with some other woman. You didn't mention exact ages, but as for that part, age shouldn't really matter, not if you love someone that is. You might have problems later on yes, but as long as you're both mature enough to handle it then things should be fine. But the way it sounds to me that he's acting is a very low quality of maturity and using you just when he needs someone else. I would lay it out on the table to him and tell him either he's with me or he's not.

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Hey Girl

 

Sounds like you are real loyal to this guy. Does not sound like he has been loyal to you. I'm not the one who could say I would be real excited about taking back my girl after she has been dating another man. I could not stand the thought of another guy touching her. Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it to. The problem is your letting it happen, and it is happening to you. Triangle relationships always get someone really hurt. It this case, he choose the triangle, and your the one paying the price with your heart and your emotion. I would suggest letting this guy know, he has to make a choice. Or you just might not be waiting around for him. When and if he does come around. I would not put to much faith in this guy, he is already cheating on you. Sounds like a bad deal to me. And by you letting him know your every move, well he has no reason to make any change. He is treating you like a doormat. Don't let it happen, I'm sure you deserve better. Make him dump the other girl, or I suggest you dump him. Or you will end up being the one getting dumped on.

 

Kuhl

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I wonder what his reaction would be to YOU telling HIM you think it would be a good idea while he's finding himself - that you're going to see what you can do to lay any doubts about the age difference to rest in your mind by dating a few guys closer to your age? It really isn't fair that he's putting you in storage so to speak, asking you to wait on him while he decides, not knowing what he's even GOING to decide, while he goes out and enjoys himself seeing what's out there. No, I'm not suggesting you make him jealous - but he shouldn't be SO secure with you he can do as he wishes for an indefinite period of time while you wait home on him either. Relationships are give and take - and nobody should be able to take their partner so much for granted that they can walk, play, and expect them to be sitting home warming the chair for the day they decide they're ready.

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