i like her so much, but she falls for another guy

[all is flawed]

ok, I have totally fallen for my best friend that I go to college with. She lives 2 doors down, and we always hang out, and she is the most amazing person that I have ever met. When I first started liking her, she had a boyfriend of about a year and a half, so even though she was in my mind it was one of those things that you know just can't happen. However, about a month ago she just broke up with him, and is now single. However, I saw her start to like another guy, and then totally fall for this guy from her hometown. She ended up kissing him on new years, and it seems like they could start dating. I try to hint to her that i like her, and i think she knows(according to her roomate), but i have no idea how she feels about me. Of course, im her best friend first, and then the guy who likes her second, but its really painful to just sit back and watch her fall for another guy, when i really think we would fit so perfectly together. My life is going really well right now, and this is the only thing causing me any emotional pain or stress at all(if it wasn't for her friendship, i would be in such worse shape). Im really scared of losing our friendship if i tell her, and dont want to ruin something that could happen between us in the future. please give any advice , thanks in advance!!!

 

Josh

[Realitybites]

Hi Josh,

Well, you're certainly in a bit of a bind. I suggest you develop some patience, and wait for the right moment to come out to her. Timing is key here, I think. Because as you said, you wouldn't want to lose her altogether. On the other hand, there are other options:

1) You keep it on a friendship level and wait for the right moment, as I suggested, like after the other guy disappears from the picture

2) You come out to her right away, and risk making things awkward between you two. You might even lose her.

3) You come out to her, and she returns your feelings.

You have to weigh the pros and cons of these options and go with the one you think you can afford emotionally. If your pain is too much to bear, and you've tried getting some relief from friends/family to see you through this, and it still doesn't help, then maybe you could consider being honest with her. She already knows, according to her roommate, so why not tell her yourself? If you go for this option, you should prepare yourself for the worst (at least I always do that), just to be on the safe side, and rejoice if your fears don't come true.

I hope this helps you at all. Being in love can be very painful indeed, especially when you don't know if the other person likes you or not. Knowing what they feel, even if it isn't what you'd hoped for, releases the tension.

But as I said, you should do what you feel is right for you (you could also talk to the roommate to get an idea of your chances on this one).

Good luck!

[johnnytea1]

i would say that if i were in your position, i would just keep yer relationship where its at for now, wait until the new guy goes away. although u might feel bad now in the long run i think ull have a better shot at her. when the other guy leaves, it will be more noticeable of your love for her because you have stuck with her the whole time. she might be hurt after her relationship with the other man is over and u can come in and comfort her, be there for her. shell notice and then, i believe, u will have a better shot at her. dont make her choose between two guys right now. just be patient and let things settle and choose yer time to act, if u do, wisely. those are my two bits. good luck