she loves two people...

[Tallo]

Okay, I have to share this with everyone and I need as much advice and thought on this situation as possible because I can't get it off my mind. There is this girl that I have worked with for the past couple years during college and I have always been attracted to her. She is the exact girl that any guy would want. She is beautiful on the inside and out, is lots of fun, and can always make you laugh. There is just one problem, she has a boyfriend and they have been together for a couple of years and are great together. He is actually a great guy, and has become a friend of mine. So, before I knew him, I was really attracted to this girl, and since the summer, I had really fallin in love with her. Then, this past August, her boyfriend started working with us as well and now I felt I could never flirt with her anymore. You see, when we were at work, it was as if I could feel that she liked me too, but she could never tell anyone. Well, after a couple of months with him working there, I still had this love for her, but I just tried to accept the fact that they were never going to break up and so I tried to move on and find other girls. Well, three nights ago, her, I, and some other friends went out to a club and danced and stuff. Her boyfriend was out of town, but I didn't think anything of it. As we were dancing, she started telling me stuff that I couldn't believe. She told me that since this past summer she has spent nights waking up and crying because she kept thinking of me and trying to figure out why she thought of me and why I couldn't be happy. She then preceded to tell me that she loved me and always has becasue we have so much fun together. I was completely shocked becasue I was happy to find out that she felt the same way, but at the same time, I was just as sad because now my feelings have come back really strong and everytime I see her, I want to grab her and everytime I am not with her I can't stop thinking about her. Well, she still loves her boyfriend as well and she doesn't know how she can love two people at the same time. She told me she hasn't told anyone else and she felt good to tell me. Also, that night, she came back and I was ready to walk her home, but she wanted to stay in my room and talk all night and cuddle. So, we did that and only that. I was one of the best nights I have had in a long time because I am really in love with her and just don't know what to do about this situation. Should I tell someone or just let it play out, or what? I need as much advice and thought on the situation as possible. How or why do you think she loves both of us and what do you think will happen...PLEASE HELP!!

[Self Discoverer]

Hello Tallo

 

Firstly, I don't know how you can say that you love her when you're not in a committed relationship. It sounds like you've got a crush to me.

 

I would certainly not do anything for the time being. You sound like an honourable guy, but how on earth would you feel if you were her boyfriend?

 

She may believe that she loves you both but it's possible that she's confused about what she wants at the moment. She needs to work that out for herself without you confusing matters. She's chosen to be with her current bf and until she decided what she wants I would let things be.

 

If she's telling you that she loves you then that is being really unfair on you and hurtful to her boyfriend who deserves none of this.

 

A girlfriend recently broke up with me and I suspect that she had found somebody else before we broke up, finally leaving him for me (not thta she told me this). I can't begin to tell you how painful that was to have to accept.

[kuhl282000]

Hey Tallo

 

Sounds like you in a real pickel. First off Triangle relationships never work out for the three people. One of the guys has to go. Sounds to me that you are the new guy, so in this case if the girl feels that strong about you. I would suggest talking to her once again, and really see what her intentions are. And if she really wants to be with you, we'll she would have to do some breaking up. You may gain a new lover and lose a friend all at the same time. You were not really in a relationship with her. You were just looking on from afar. Maybe dreaming that this girl could be yours someday. Be careful, and walk on eggshells with this other guy. I'm sure he would not be a happy camper if he found out you were out clubbing and sleeping in the same room with his girl. You jumped the gun on the sleeping with her (even with no sex) that is pretty hard to explain. Sounds like you might get your wish or a black eye, if you play your cards right or wrong. One of you has to go. And it sounds like real soon.

 

Kuhl