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For those in pain, please watch this youtube video.

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I've been a long time lurker of this forum. My girlfriend of 8yrs had broken up with me, and started dating another guy in Feb 2008. She was the love of my life, someone who understood me (I thought at the time). I had become so depressed and in pain I was borderline suicidal (ex: If a car hit me, that would be ok, etc.).


I sought out therapy for my pain since I was totally incapable of fuctioning from getting up in the morning, to working, eating, or anything else. It helped me a little. What really got me going and to hope again was watching a youtube clip of Apple CEO Steve Jobs.


A brief background for those who dont know Steve Jobs, he was kicked out of the company he founded (Apple), and walked away humiliated. He spent sometime pissed off, then eventually healed, and continued to do what he loved (building great products). He eventually found his way back to Apple, and is now 10x greater then he was originally.


He doesn't really touch on love, or relationships except briefly, but the key point after watching this clip is to realize that things happen for a reason, and stay strong and dont settle for anything less then what you deserve, you will connect the dots in time and understand why.


There are more important points he covers, but I dont wanna spoil it all for you guys. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I have. It really has lifted me to a far happier place


I can't seem to post urls here. So go to youtube and type in "Steve Jobs" its his 2005 Stanford Commencement Address.

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Great speech, it just goes to show how we have to undertsand to let go and trust the natural order of things. We are not in as much control as we'd like to believe.


I have realised something quite fundamental about relationship break ups.


All the drama surrounding the actual event is usually just noise to help people deal with the fact that they want different things. The cheating, lying, abuse etc etc all occurr to mask real issues. We are all individuals and by right have different desires and want to pursue different causes and directions. In relationships, we almost lose our identities and focus on the desires and goals of the relationship.


The mantras of not living someone else's dreams and not living someone else's life, making sure your voice is heard etc etc reinforce this. In the likely event that a partner wakes up to that and realises they want soemthing else, nothing you can do or say will change that need to satisfy their urge to move on.


I believe that if we all understood this simple message, we'd understand the relationship dynamics a little better.


Saying all this doesn't really change anything on the hurt and emotiuon felt when things don't work out. We still feel betrayed and rejected, but what if the other person just decided they simply wanted something different?


Now putting all the 'drama' aside, is that really a bad thing? Are they really that evil?

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Sabio, that is so true. We cant blame people for their own choices, its their right, no matter how much it hurts.


To the OP, what a great post. Im so glad I viewed that, it made me cry, it meant a lot to me and really gave me insight and courage.


Thanks x

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