weirdest break up ( for me anyway )

[Diablo7000]

hi, I dated this girl for 7 1/2 months, me and her were really good for each other, we had tons in common, same interests, etc... the first 5 months she couldn't stop bragging about me to her friends, one friend even told me so... tuesday night the 17th she broke up with me.. she said "I just don't feel like I love you anymore.." which is really hard to believe cause she was soo head over heels for me which I heard from all her friends and parents... her friend told me after the break up that my ex told her "I felt claustriphobic, and needed space." just like I told her friend, she could've asked but never did.. I didn't think I was to clingy because she was just the same... I had to leave her house at 11:30 and she'd never want me to leave, and would ask her mom for 5 more mins... 2 weeks ago she went to church camp.. and that week and after, I noticed a change toward me from her... then she broke it off. everyone was shocked even her own parents. her friend also told me something that my ex made her promis to never tell me and that was she hated when i would go to my friends house after our date night and not talk to her as much but yet when she went to her friends house she would barely talk to me and then would make plans to spend the night and not tell me and then not talk to me the rest of the night which kinda made me mad but i was cool with it. soo if she needed space idk why cause it seemed the other way around coming from her friend.. the mood change from her was very quiet like, we didnt even talk for 3 days while she was at camp i know she was busy soo i didnt mind but everytime we talked things kept getting different and different till finally the end...we've had LC for the whole week all pretty much initiated by me and only like 5 minute conversations to see how she was and stuff... I tried to have her see me for dinner friday or saturday and she told me "we just broke up I can't go out with you" and then I blew up and told her how I loved her and that this is a mistake and that I changed and if she wanted space to just ask then said w/e.. screw it not my loss and that was it and we've had NC so far and it'll prob stay that way...

 

I miss her alot and her friends even tried to get her to hook back up but she wouldn't budge at all... she claimed we were going 2 different directions which isn't true.. I saw her parents at church sunday and they even saved me a seat but I didnt see them, and i went to talk to them and they told me, even tho she broke up with you, we havn't... that really made me sad... I've wanted to send her an e-mail telling her sorry thing didn't work out but I figured i'd ask if that was a good idea first sooo let me know... I've been looking at other girls and wanna talk to them but I'm not good with that soo i just look and don't talk.. never know wth to say... I wanna find another girl soon just to take my mind off of her but I can't even talk to one.. I feel like a wimp but it's just cause I don't wanna get shot down like alota other times... any advice would be great.. thanks

[bmwm3]

Dude.. girls are strange and act weird at times.. i guess so do guys... sorry for your loss been there we all have... theres nothing you can do just let her go.... thats the best things you can do... just give her space and move on....

 

if you did nothing wrong... then dont worry about it... girls sometimes are confused and dont know what they want.... she could of been getting really atteched to you and wanted to end it before it got any deeper... maybe she was just scared... i am guessing she is your age.. girls need to spread there wings and see what else life has to offer them.. and so do you... grow from this experince became a better man and when your ready date other women...

 

you will prob never forget her.. but it will work out for the best.. its gonna make you stronger for futute rel.. or one day you guys will get back together... i am 28 i have had so many rel since then.. if i was still with the girl i was with.. i would of missed out on alot...

 

just give her space... dont call her, dont send things to her... if it was real and true.. she will miss you and want you back... it might take a week,month maybe years... but for know its over and treat it that way... learn from it.. and let her go... if its meant to be she will be back with you again...

 

take some time and heal from the pain.. and learn and move forward and everything will be better then ever.. either you guys will be back together stronger then ever.. or you will meet a girl.. thats even better and you will love even more...

[Diablo7000]

thanks... I'm pretty sure it's my fault and I know you're prob thinking dnt blame yourself to hard, I coulda been better to her... I never quit smoknig after she asked countless times for me to quit.. I was really over protective of her and didnt trust her when she was worth every bit of my trust... but I'll do what you say thanks =)

[bmwm3]

dont blame yourself.. smoking yeah its bad.. but so what.. she should still execpt you if she loved you...

 

a little advice about the trust i have learned over the yrs.. i was the same way when i was younger.. didnt trust my gf.. when i had no reason not too..

 

look at it this way.. you not trusting her will only push her away further and make her do the things you didnt trust her with.. for future rel if a girl is gonna do something bad.. she will do it no matter what.. you can trust her or not.. or always looking over her its not gonna prevent anything.. but cause problems and push her to do that thing even faster...

 

girls love confident guys... dont let it bug you.. dont show you dont trust her.. unless you really have a reason not to trust her.. real proof of lying or cheating... otherwise it doesnt matter.. be a strong man.. and girls will see this..

 

some girls will challange you on this and make you jelous.. but dont let it bug.. and they will be like whoa this guy is sure of him self.. and will want you even more... and wont wanna lose you...

[istjustony]

... she broke up with me.. she said "I just don't feel like I love you anymore.."

my ex told her "I felt claustriphobic, and needed space."

 

That's all you needed to say.

My best friends, one was a 2 year relationship, the other was 4 years (engaged for 2 years) all broke up only a few months apart just this year. Both of their excuses was along that line of what your ex said. These excuses concludes to one thing, lost of attraction.

 

You didn't do anything wrong, nor she. Just no "fireworks" anymore. We men are more rational creatures. You can ponder all you want, you won't find a good reason for her to leave you. Relationships are risky.

My advise to you is this: Move on, you enjoyed the experience.

[Diablo7000]

thanks man, means alot, and thanks for all the advice