Have I lost touch with reality?

[Lilla]

My short story: he broke up with me after 2 years. The last year was a long distance relationship. Our last visit was in February and he broke up with me over the phone in the beginning of April.. I haven’t met him again or been at his country. We have been on strict NC.

 

Now I am going back in 2 weeks and when I think about meeting him again, I can only think of him as my boyfriend. I can't imagine not to hug him.. It will be strange that he doesn’t come pick me up to the station or that I won’t call him after the flight.

 

Today I looked at the photos of his home. I have lived there quite a lot. It still feels like as if it was my home..

 

Am I getting mad? Have I lost touch with reality?

 

(I know his not my boyfriend anymore, I have seen him on dating sites. I know I am single and I am still hurting and mad at him.)

 

Thanks for your help

 

Lilla

[Leezon]

Lilla, are you going over there on work? Will you been in the exact same place as he lives?

[keenan]

You haven't lost your mind. You're just having to create a new reality out of old materials, and it's hard. It's like tearing down a perfectly good house and using the same walls and roof to build a new house that you don't like very much.

[Lilla]

Leezon, I am not going there for him, I am going there for work and my studies. Yes, I will be in the same town, but not the same part of it.. If I could go to some other place with such excellent conditions, I would. But I don't give up a dream-job for him.

 

Thanks, Keenan. But I had 3 months to rebuild this reality. It is a bit more difficult because I haven't seen him, but even then..

[Crazyaboutdogs]

No, you are perfectly normal. You are going back to a place full of memories of good times with him, but now you are no longer together so it will be completely different. It has only been about 2 months since the break up so you are still processing everything. It will be rough the first few days you are there but after a while you will get used to not having him around.

[dream83]

You're not going insane. It's only been a couple of months, and it will take time to stop thinking of things as being the way they were. That was a struggle for me with my recent ex-bf, but I forced myself to see my new reality as it is. I moved to my-bf's country for a new, better career opportunity and we broke up several months after the move. Now, it excites me to know that I'm not giving up my hopes and dreams for him and that I'm making it on my own without him.

 

Your may be going through a hurtful break-up, but don't let it stop you from enjoying the wonderful opportunities you now have ahead of you!

[Leezon]

Lilla, if your not in the same part of town then just stay away.. and dont even bother thinking about him. concentrate on your work, even ask the people you meet at your work if they want to go out after.. that way you have company after work.

 

Think of the people like me that have to live only 5mins drive from our ex's

[dream83]

Lilla, if your not in the same part of town then just stay away.. and dont even bother thinking about him. concentrate on your work, even ask the people you meet at your work if they want to go out after.. that way you have company after work.

 

Think of the people like me that have to live only 5mins drive from our ex's

 

I feel your pain. My ex is literally right up the road from me. Thankfully there haven't been any run-ins so far.

[desiree81]

"I am not going there for him, I am going there for work and my studies. Yes, I will be in the same town, but not the same part of it.. If I could go to some other place with such excellent conditions, I would. But I don't give up a dream-job for him."

 

Sounds like you will do fine.

 

I was in a very similar situation to yours, except that I haven't visited his country yet. A roommate of his is actually on my facebook and it hurts to see the house that I used to spend so much time in; it also hurts to see pictures of the city even sometimes. There's too much memories. It's totally normal and you're not alone.

 

I made up my mind long ago that it's going to be a strick NC even if I would have the chance to visit the same city again. For you I suggest not to contact him and try to avoid meeting him as much as you can. It's just going to cause additional pain that's unnecessary.

 

Good luck on your new work and study opportunity! That's really amazing so focus on it!

[Lilla]

I was in a very similar situation to yours, except that I haven't visited his country yet. A roommate of his is actually on my facebook and it hurts to see the house that I used to spend so much time in; it also hurts to see pictures of the city even sometimes. There's too much memories. It's totally normal and you're not alone.

 

I made up my mind long ago that it's going to be a strick NC even if I would have the chance to visit the same city again. For you I suggest not to contact him and try to avoid meeting him as much as you can. It's just going to cause additional pain that's unnecessary.

 

Thanks. It' going to be weird to be there again.

 

Today I wondered how strange it is going be not to go home to his flat, not to look out of his window, not to walk down his street, not to do the shopping together, not to buy his favorite food, not to have lunch at the usual place together, not to wait for him at "our corner" and not to wonder how I could make him happy.. I hope I won’t lose touch with reality there and forget that he is not my boyfriend anymore.

 

I am a bit scared, but still enthusiastic.

[dreamwarrior]

What really stinks is that the town that holds the best memories is the one where I am from and every other day I have to go there to my karate lessons in which he used to go there with me, because we were a team and now it's hard to practice alone. And the biggest stinker is I live in his town accross the ocean that holds the worst memories...guess it's easier for me to live in his town than mine. But, I don't let memories get in the way of my future success.

 

Also I was just reading a Yahoo article on weight loss and anti-aging...and if you are not eating right, sleeping well, stress, unhappiness to name a few then change that soon, because not only does that cause you to age faster it causes weight gain.

 

Good luck have a blessed day/night