Really, really annoyed by my current "romantic interest." Men suck.

[dream83]

This thread is about the same guy from my last thread for those of you who recall (the one about why a guy would see fit to ask a woman when was the last time she had sex). He's a distant ex of mine. Things didn't end horribly, so I thought I would give us a second chance now (years later).

 

So, since the first question about sex, he's been expressing signs of insecurity. He asked me about it again, which led to a discussion about the sexual partners we've had since we were together, and he kept asking a lot of questions about my recent ex, which I found to be odd...maybe a sign of insecurity? Then he goes on about how "hot" I am and how if I wanted to I can easily have any man I want (all this was said in kind of an awkward nervous tone, which later turned to "I'm just joking). After this conversation, we sort of discussed what I perceived to be his "concerns," and everything seemed okay, I guess. But, now I have a bigger concern.

 

What concerns me the most is that I feel like I'm getting all these weird signals. I don't know whether he's really insecure/afraid (I should add that I think he was under the impression that I broke up with him a while back and went to antoher guy I had dated before him, BUT I explained to him a long, long time ago that I never even saw that guy, much less dated him again). I don't know whether he's just immature. He seemed sort of disappointed when he learned that I had had sex with my the last guy I dated...during the years that he and I were not together, which I now don't quite know what to make of. This is sort of a stretch, but I think that he asked questions about my ex to sort of compare himself to him in his mind (the questions about my ex were followed up with questions about what I thought about him...but I may have taken the bait on that one).

 

To add to things, now I'm just really pissed off because he had been talking about having this wonderful vacation together, but I just learned that it's not going to happen. So, in light of all this I've decided to paint the entire gender with a broad stroke and conclude that all men suck [clearly I'm not being serious, but I've been really grumpy since yesterday, so that's just how it's going to be until otherwise noted

 

Anyhow, I so don't know what to make of this guys behavior, if it truly is insecurity that can be dealt with by having a talk about it, or if it's something else. And let's not even get into how it frustrates me that he doesn't communicate these things to me directly. He has sort of a roundabout way of bringing things up.

 

I should also add that this guy is slightly older (which may or may not be his cause for acting all weird?). He's done very well for himself in his career. In my book he has no reason to be insecure about anything, which is why I don't really know if that's what this is. I don't remember it being to this extreme before, then again I don't know what's happened to him in the years that have gone by. Since yesterday, it's been getting to the extent that I'm becoming reluctant to allow myself to develop any sort of "attachment" or let my guard down any more than I have. But then again that could just be my overall spell of grumpiness that I've been having since yesterday. Who knows.

 

I wrote this mainly to vent, but if anyone out there sees something I might be missing or has another perspective to offer, please do so! If anyone needs me I'll be sitting in the corner eating chocolate and reading brochures about joining a convent because right now I'm frustrated with anything that has a Y chromosome (not just because of this guy, but right now he's at the top of my list).

[Batya33]

Awwww - hope you feel better soon. I think this is the downside of remaining involved with a man who makes it clear from the beginning from his actions that he's not relationship material (or really, friendship material given his level of insecurities). What's the benefit in it for you? The attraction? The never knowing what's going to be the next odd/inappropriate thing he says with the result that you're never bored? Because you might want to be a psychologist some day and it's fun to analyze/overanalyze human behavior?

 

Enjoy your treats!

[dream83]

The initial attraction was that he was so accomplished, intelligent (not socially I now know), well-traveled and seemed mature. He never used to be like this! Or at least not to this extreme. I guess made the mistake of giving him the benefit of the doubt based on the past and hoping that we had both changed for the better since. So much for that.

 

And yeah, it is fun to analyze human behavior sometimes, but God! Not on such a regular basis!