I need opinions - badly!

[prettyhate]

Ok so this is doing my head in at work today my mental energy has totally gone all into him.

I need opinions far and wide. My house mate is my ex’s mutual friend they are not super close but they are still in the same circle he has been very good to me about everything we don’t talk about the ex unless I make a comment on the odd occasion. So he is having his birthday in about a months time –

We are starting to get on a little better.

There are so many factors to this I don’t know where to begin so I am just going to outpour ALL that’s going on in here.

1) the place it is at is where my ex cheated on me with – I have visited the place ONCE with him after he cheated when we were trying to make things work period – I did it but I hated it

2) my house mate is pressuring me to go saying I cant run forever rah rah rah rah so is my mum with this type of logic – a few friends also are like yes go

3) a friend I WOULD take is away overseas so I am looking for a recruit if I do go who KNOWS I could fall apart

4) it could be viewed rude if I don’t go

5) he is making an effort with me lately too

6) it will show ppl I am not afraid or scared or not “ coping”

7) if I don’t go I am worried my ex will think oh well even her housemates on my side,have the upper hand and or think that I am so not coping and I don’t want him to think that at all

8) if I do go I could TRY to look fabulous and be fabulous act it etc

9) only for a for a little while

10) part of me wants to see him part of me wants to hide like a scared animal

11) part of me things get it over and done with better that he sees me HOT than looking bad from a beach run or something?

12) What if he brings a girl…………………………………

13) I thought about asking a guy but I don’t know any that aren’t involved in surfing and know us both

14) HELP

 

HAS ANYONE been in similar situations what did you do

i get mad i dont want him to think im suffering he was so patronising at the start " i wanted to make this easier on you" like as if it was easy for him and id never get over it type of a way

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Aviatormy]

Simple solution?....

 

Find a friend male or female that will go to the movies with you. Tell your roommate that you can not make it because you have a date. Get all dolled up and ready like you are going on a date with a total STUD!

 

When you'r roommate goes to the party then I am sure your ex will ask about you and why you are not there.

 

Sweet thing is... your roommate will answer "she is out on a date and BOY! SHE LOOKED GORGEOUS WHEN SHE LEFT THE HOUSE!!!!!"

 

What I am trying to tell you in a whole is that the opinion of others should not matter when it comes to your feelings about your ex. Bottom line... HE CHEATED ON YOU. If your friends are judging you because you simply do not want to see a piece of scum like him, maybe you should find new and UNDERSTANDING friends.

 

Move on. If it is a problem living with your ex's mutual friend then move out. Get away from that whole situation. If you can deal with their assumed thoughts about you, then live life as you have been. Either way, I would suggest that you stop talking to your ex all together. It will help you out more than you know in the long run

[greensleeves]

It's still a month away, so don't feel you need to decide right now, see how you feel at the time. Stop worrying about the way what you do will be perceived by others or what others want from you. Do whatever feels right for you when the time comes.